Making The Best With The Little You May Think You Possess.

Life isn't a straight road, it had bends, hills, dips and somewhere along the way there are cracks where you might stumble. At one point or another in our lives, we will dislike something about ourselves. Whether it be looks, the knowledge we possess, how others see us, how we control situations.... The list goes on.

I have many things I dislike about myself and I'm the first to admit it. However, unlike those who are hurt by what others say about them, I am broken by my own self-hatred and self-esteem which dwindles. From the outside, I can fake the happiness, hide the pain and make everyone believe I am the happiest person alive.But on the inside, my world is just darkness. Like a maze where I cannot find the exit to. A lock on a dock that is unbreakable. Where I'm trapped to suffer in the self pity I've become accustomed to.

Don't feel sorry for me, I do not expect any pity, I do not expect any empathy. If I wasn't strong enough, I wouldn't still be here. I'm carrying on. With that same fake smile. That same fake gleam in my eyes. The fake laugh that echos in the minds of my family and friends. I'm not the plastic barbie doll type of fake, where I cover myself in make up, tanning solution to make me orange and so much skin showing I'm fit for a brothel. I'm the emotional kind of fake, and sometimes, that appears to be a lot worse.

I will change. I must change. Someday soon. I will be a whole new me. I will be my own hero.
DontEverLookBack DontEverLookBack
Sep 18, 2012