Starting Over Again

when i was 15 i met a 20 year old man who seemed like he was the worlds greatest man for me. i stayed with that man for 6 years. i am one of those women who sticks through thick and thin. i stayed through him being in jail for 3 years. we got married the day he was released from jail. i stayed with him through constent disrespect, i stayed through beatings, i stayed when he would steal my car, rent money, all my money. he never worked he sold drugs and tried to be a "pimp". he stole my spirit for a while.

one day i decided enough is enough. i packed up everything in our apartment that he had ever touched. i packed up everything that belonged to him. i threw it on the lawn of the ***** he was cheating on me with and i never looked back.

i was single for 6 months after that. then i met a new guy that i thought was really nice. he had a good job, he had an apartment, his parents were preachers of a church. i couldn't find anything wrong with this one at all. he ended up getting me pregnant. he disapeared through the pregnancy but two months before we had our daughter he manned up and wanted to take care of us. this was a different role for me to play because i had always been the provider.

we all moved in together. it was good for a little while until i found out that he was a compulsive liar when it came to me. i tried for two years with him to make it work. i stayed through the cheating, stayed through the verbal and financial abuse. he finally commited to me a month ago and since then he's still lying and still talking to the same old hoes now on my new cell number. i saw the numbers and then decided again that enough is enough. i am going to change my life this time. i don't want a man i need to find myself again and be the role model that my daughter deserves. i have worked so hard to give her a good life i will not let this man steal my spirit and leave my daughter with an empty shell which once was her mother. i am going to acheive everything that i was put on this earth to acheive. i am a fighter, a survivor.

 

independentmomma independentmomma
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 13, 2007

Ok, so i see that you wrote this almost 4 years ago now. However, I hope for your sake and for the sake of your child that you did indeed move on. I know that doing what you know is right (i.e. - ending a relationship that you know you need to get out of) is much easier said than done, but believe me, you'll be far happier for it in the end. It does sound like this guy isn't as bad as the first, but you nonetheless deserve better. I hope his willingness to provide for you and your daughter remains now that that provision is gonna be coming in the form of alimony and child support payments. A decent man doesn't deceive his wife. I believe love is honest. A true man will treat you like a queen, and your daughter like a princess. Your ability to stay committed to a man through thick and thin is an excellent quality to have, but I advise you to save that commitment for the right man once you are MARRIED. While you are dating someone, if you realize that a guy is wrong for you, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY WITH HIM!! Maintain your walk-away power during the dating phase of a relationship. Once you know you're with a guy that (as I mentioned above) treats you (and your daughter, of course) with the love and respect you deserve, then feel free to marry him and apply that unwavering commitment to that relationship.<br />
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I would love to see an update from you. I'm curious as to how things are going for you now, 4 years later. Hope all is well with you, and best of luck with everything!!

Yes! That's great. I was just with a compulsive liar/cheater/addict. No fun! Now that he's gone, and I'm past the sad part, I feel so free. Who needs all that worry, sadness, checking up on their lies, etc. <br />
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You are worth SOOOOOO much more.

Yes! That's great. I was just with a compulsive liar/cheater/addict. No fun! Now that he's gone, and I'm past the sad part, I feel so free. Who needs all that worry, sadness, checking up on their lies, etc. <br />
<br />
You are worth SOOOOOO much more.

I wish you the very best of luck, although with your determination and spirit, it seems to me that you *will* succeed, regardless; you are a force to be reckoned with!! But we will still be cheering you on to better, greater, grand things!!! :D

Good for you, you go for it. Yes, its hard, but so worth it in the end. I went through a similar thing myself, im just tumbling out the other end and there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.<br />
I still have some bitterness left to deal with thats dragging me down. Situations like these leave a bitter taste, but im definately getting there. You sound strong..stay strong, power to you x