My Vicious Cycle

I was an unhappy kid, uncomfortable in my body, feeling alone in my family.  My parents met my basic physical needs but not much else and I was sexually abused by my grandfather.  In my teens I put on loads of weight and felt v unhappy and depressed.  I started smoking weed.  The more I smoked and the more I ate the more unhappy I got so the more I smoked and ate to cope with that.  Although on the outside I function well, hold down a good job which I enjoy, have friends I spend time with, see my family.  On the inside I am full of self loathing, of anger, of sadness or all sorts of confusing and conflicting feelings.  I continue to overeat and smoke to much weed.  I want to pull myself out of this vicious cycle I have got myself in, I just don't seem to be able to.......

loopy210 loopy210
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 1, 2009

Nobody can relate to your story 100%, but thats what makes you so special, Stay happy because your smile means something to someone