I Came From Nothing To The Possibility Of Something Amazing...

New guy here. I left school with no education and went in to a spiral of drugs alcohol and finally overdosed...

This was all before I had even turned 18. So it was time for a change! I left the alcohol and drugs behind as best as I could since I was addicted more or less and turned my attentions to getting a good education to make something of my life. 

I know I can do it but no matter what I do each year I never push myself to the limit and get the best grade, it's always average. Four years goes by and I scraped through them and now I am at the point of starting a Degree. A year ago I had started a Degree but it didn't turn out like planned and things went from bad to worse and I ended up failing before I really begun and if you add my dad recently passing away it was looking grim. I'm determined to break the cycle! I have little or no confidence in my ability not matter what people say about my work... I have ups and downs like anybody but my downs tend to linger and I dwell in self pity until I force myself out but every time its like a mountain. The worst of it is... I have a great girl who is waiting to marry me and she has a wonderful family that treats me like their son. They live in America whereas I'm in the UK and need the Degree to get the required Visa etc. She has waited for me all this time, it really is true love, and I end up hating myself because I haven't got there yet.

I need some faith.

1312015C 1312015C
22-25, M
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Seems like you want things to turn out well so much that your expectations have put an enormous pressure on you. that's why you feel stifled. What you need to do is to assess your challenges ob<x>jectively, as if you were a 3rd person, and figure out from there how to break your goals down into small enough steps so that you can succeed. <br />
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Remember, that if you can emotionally distance the process and the task before you, you will be able to do a lot better and will even enjoy the challenge and the process. So be your own best friend. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Just cut lose and enjoy the challenge!

Thanks for your support nrskjh... This whole talkin about my problems thing is completely new to me and I appreciate the support.

Keep working on yourself, there's no better investment! You'll get there! :)