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My Days Away From The Beach.

Today, I have 217 days left of my boyfriends 400 day deployment. They didn't start counting until like a month and a half after he actually left. :/ It seems like he gets so sad when he talks to me, it says it's because he misses me. But, it breaks my heart that he gets sad because of me, and hearing him sad makes me wanna die. I just dont know how to keep him happy, I never talk about the bad stuff, but it doesn't help. I don't want to distract him from his duty. It makes me feel like I'm a burden to him. Like I shouldn't be talking to him if I can't make him happy. And also, it scares me that we only have stuff to talk about for like, a half hour. After that, we just kinda say how much we love eachother, it's not the same as before he left when we could talk all day and always have something to say. Has anyone else gone through this too? I don't know if it's because he's talking to someone else, or what. I love him so much, but it just really sucks that I can't make him smile, or feel good. I just want him to be happy, and if he has to not talk to me for him to be happy, I wouldn't talk to him. I just want whats best for him, especially during this long deployment. I miss him so much.
alyssabraun alyssabraun 18-21, F Apr 15, 2012

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