Have to Get It Off My Chest

Well here I am again.

I came across one of the groups here titled 'I Am Cheating On My Husband'. And of course from there, came across more similar groups.

Before I go on, if any dumbasses feel like posting comments such as 'MEN CHEAT , TOO! OMG LOL!' then kindly **** OFF.

There are enough forums and groups about cheating men, and since I have no desire to date men, I'm just gonna focus on how I feel about the female cheaters.

I won't judge because come on, who am I, right? But what really freaks me out is some of the reasons they offer. Quite a number of them did it simply because the other guy was hot and they wanted to bang him.

Another common reason (at least on EP), is that the husband wasn't good enough in bed and since hot guys were available, well, yea... you get the idea.

And again, before any geniuses decide to go all 'NOT ALL WOMEN ARE CHEATERS! YOU SUCK! OMG LOL!' then please, stick this dynamite up yours and light it .

Hopefully the only readers left are the ones who use logic and have better comprehension skills.

I'm just saying that for me, being alone seems like a waaaaay better option than finding out my wife cheated on me. Even if she tells me I'm sorry and I genuinely believe her... I will never get the image of the guy(s) pleasuring my wife and the look of pure joy on her face as it happened.

It scares the hell out of me. And I don't scare easy (except for clowns, which are pure evil) (and killer rabbits) (and The Burger King guy).

As usual, there's cake over there. Help yourselves...


EDIT: I replaced the sentences "Hopefully the only readers left are the one who use logic. And we know there are ALWAYS exceptions." with the one above because they had implied that most women were cheaters. That's not what I'm trying to say.

WhoTheHellAreYou WhoTheHellAreYou
35 Responses May 15, 2009

Like! totally agree with you! OMG LOL <br />
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sorry jk

you come off a bit full of your self but are redeemed by the way u convey your human sensitivity and insight to the emotional heart, so ya sound like a good man to me.

I found out that my now ex-husband had an affair while we were married and that his girlfriend and he had bought land together. At our divorce hearing, I was waiting for him to stand up for us - to try and fight for another chance. He looked at me, we were both crying, and said he couldn't... they were going to build on that land. I have never trusted anyone since him. I loved him, but left because I was going crazy sitting there as they would flirt back and forth at various events/occasions and such - they did it openly as though I was non-existant. The best I could do for him was let him go. I have since remarried and early on this guy cheated also (minus buying property - a plus in my eyes). I told him I knew, but stayed. He knows I don't trust him or anyone. I can't do it. I can't give that part of myslef up to anyone. I could care less about the look joy/fulfillment he would find in another - I don't think that much into it. I just sit and there wonder what I have done that has attracted those kinds of men.<br />
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Either way, your post is right. My first husband told me true love and white picked fences were only fairy tales. He was right.... so now you know it is only a myth our parents told us because they needed something to believe in also. I guess that is why I married again - to try and make a fairy tale happen for my girls and also because I am scared of the dark and comfortable being married. I like the idealogy of husband and wife.

Nothing I can say or do will even come close to understanding what you must've gone through...

All I can offer?

Anytime you need cake, lemme know.

Take care, now.

naaa Whothehelru..i gta go w u on e last statement.... id rather be alone 4ever than put myself at risk of being cheated on...

You know what, I want to apologize. I had found that you had commented on another person's story and I left a comment after yours which expressed how I felt, reading your comment. I wish I had read this one first, I wouldn't have been so harsh. She was dealing with the same thing but your comment was cold and indifferent. I also think, now, that you were commenting out of your anger....like me..... Anyways, I like your post. I wish you love, peace and hope...in this tough time.

I really enjoyed this post.....I am a woman and boy oh boy do I relate to what you're saying! It is a f*cking horrible place to be put and especially when is FOR NO GOOD REASON, at that!!!! Even if someone cheated on another person, I can't imagine that would even be a good reason but at least they would have some excuse remotely understandable....But whatever!!! <br />
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I can only say that I find my solace in my Faith and so I still do not believe that all men are cheaters even through everything I have had to live through. I am just more aware of the games and just how sneaky that men can be. <br />
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I will not tell you that I am not sneaky because that just isn't true, I have a sneaky nature but there is a God who sees everything I do and have done. For the most part, even when I would have done sneaky things I chose to let it go, yet nothing changed. Whatever!!!! My thoughts, exactly..good luck and God bless you.

Hey Ashley,<br />
Sorry to hear that.<br />
<br />
I really am.

I completely agree. My parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mom. He is now married to the woman he cheated with. Some remorse, eh? Anyway, I like the blog. Seriously, cheating is horrible, and the fact that some people broadcast it as if they are proud, is disgusting.

I personally don't see why people cheat in the first place. If you are happy in your relationship then their should be no need to sleep with someone outside that relationship unless it is something that is agreed upon by both parties, say you both want to experience a ********* or whatever. Flat out cheating though is something different all together, if your unhappy with your partner talk to them about it try to change things instead of just jumping to the closest thing around and screwing your brains out. I know women do this as well as men, and to me it just seems a waste. All the time you spend creating trust and a relationship goes out the window when one person or the other breaks that trust and sleeps with someone else. Honestly I would rather have my man tell me straight up he want's someone else because in the long run he is saving me time and effort I would have wasted on trying to make something work that obviously wasn't meant to be.

I've read the story, haven't bothered with the whole thread. You are right. In our culture, the view is that cheating reveals a man as a pig, a loser, while for a woman it's glorified, it's practically become a virtue! Michelle Langley is an honest feminist (something like a flying cow) who was a cheater herself, decided to try to figure out why she did what she did to a good man, studied the subject intensively, and ended up writing an excellent book on it, Women's Infidelity. It has many profound insights and observations , but one that stands out in my mind is she admits this "men cheat for sex, women cheat for love" spiel is BS. Women cheat for sex! They cheat because they're tired of banging the man they're with and they want the excitement of a fresh partner. Being a good husband is not enough to ward off cheating. You've got to have a really conscientious woman. Check out her website womensinfidelity.com and peak for free at chapters of her book on Amazon.com.

I believe the term for anyone who cheats especially married couples and families is labelled "home wreckor".<br />
Cheating is childish, grow up, if you don't want your partner, break up with them, don't take them on a emotional roller coaster, they don't deserve that, they deserve better that some dirt bag like that..

I love your bluntness And What was funny is what your scared of i dont know about killer rabbits but clowns scared the crap outta me and the burger king guy is creepy, But yes i agree cheating is wrong. And yes there are no good excuses for doing it. Anyways thanks for the thought i enjoyed it

And your humble opinion is greatly valued.<br />
Here, have some cake...

I understand that people cheat. They can't keep their pants on or their tongues in their mouth. However I don't see the need to make a group about it. Cheating has ruined lives.. People have taken their own lives because of it! I don't see any fun or whatever in making a group about cheating. Just my humble opinion though...


I am a serious WOMAN.

More men cheat btw, compared to women, - most women are still kept to be obeying housewives nothing else; and when some break that, they go the wrongest because they don't know what else they can do. <br />
There is always much more consequences to a cheating woman - cheating men are fine. <br />
Also only men think just this way:<br />
"the other guy/woman was hot and I wanted to bang him." <br />
Many men that can do only, try to put their ignorance in my life. I get constantly offended MUCH.

Well, NOT all women are cheaters - looks like you quite my case - a normal good man in a totally abnormal environment.

You have a genuine flare with words! I really enjoyed reading this post - thank-you for writing it. :-)

you are right- dead on right and honest. You can never get over betrayal and you never, ever, trust that person again . Cheating is easy- if you really can't stand it -leave or learn to accept and enjoy what u do have- easier said than done but most things that have any value are always easy. linda

i feel the same way

It's a good thing that you don't drink and smoke.<br />
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I'm not scared of clowns at all, yes I've seen It. After seeing Monty Python, I will never look at rabbits the same way again. I assume you're referring to the guy from Burger King commercials, he creeps me out too. <br />
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I understand your concern about women cheaters. Some of them are even proud of what they're doing, it's disgusting. I know for a fact women cheat in relationships just as much as men do. Are you really going to let one bad apple ruin the whole bunch? Cheating is inexcuseable no matter if it's a man or woman who does it. :/

Doubt it.<br />
By the way, pit bulls are indeed awesome.<br />
Unless they're coming at me.

Well said, but chances are, you will meet someone someday.

Isn't the point of EP to say what you are really thinking instead of being PC and shallow. Thank you for sharing your frustration and fears in a fun way.

Thank you... um, digital blonde avatar girl.

I think it's woman like that who really ruin it for the loyal gals out there. Don't let the nasty ******* screw up an awesome girl's chance with you.

lol bold move <br />
women cheat for the same reasons as men<br />
im assuming<br />
boredum? the need for something new? not caring enough? ect.<br />
either way, just props for the thought

cheaters, all of them women, men whatever--are first and foremost, selfish. then gutless. the ONLY reason they don't divorce/break-up before cheating is so they still have someone at home. the poor lil' cheaters are afraid of possibly being alone-- aw, poor babies!! little do their sad, pathetic, un-evolved, mush-for-minds know--being alone is being true to yourself, being real.

I comletely agree with you, i believe anyone who cheats, man or woman should never be forgiven, no excuse is acceptable, if someone doesn't like thier partner, they can seperate, then start seeing someone else.<br />
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Divorce is legal in almost every country now.<br />
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But that's just my opinion.

you hit the nail on the head with that one liardking!!! i have been struggling t do that for ages, and i wish i could just open up to people!! lol its frustrating!!! lol

You are afraid of being hurt, thats okay nobody wants to be hurt. But thats the thing with life. If you don't open yourself up to someone, if you don't put yourself out there, then you won't be able to enjoy life to the full extent. In order to do that you have to trust somebody, and leave yourself vulnerable. <br />
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To hit a home run you have to first step up to the plate.

i enjoyed this post!!!! it brings to mind the fact that its not nly men tat are idiots in this way!!!

Good ****.

I enjoyed your post and even as a woman, agree with you. A lot of men cheat, that's a fact, but an increasing number of women are promiscuous and every open about it. You only hear about male cheaters more because when a woman gets cheated on, she wants the whole world to know what a loser her significant other is. Those cheating groups and "other woman" groups make me sick.<br />
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I, too, once cheated on someone. We weren't married, but we weren't happy anymore either. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. All I can do is not keep my past a secret. When entering into my current relationship, I told him I had once cheated and wouldn't do it again, but if it bothered him or he felt like he couldn't trust me in the future, please don't get serious with me. Almost 3 years and I have been 200% faithful. I just wish more women felt remorse for the things they put their husbands through instead of flaunting their infedelities.<br />
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You are a witty, insightful man who has a pretty smart view of women. Guard yourself. Stay single until you meet a woman you feel like you can 100% trust. It's better to be alone than to have your heart ripped about because a girl can't keep her legs closed. I hope the exception to the rule finds her way to you.