I Will Never Forget My First Lover
So i had my first gf at 21, i dont know why i waited so long, i guess i didnt want to rush things up and i just didn't feel the need. Well my first love lasted almost 2 years, i fell in love hard, i tattooed her name on my arm, and told her that this will symbolize my first and only love, and/or the first girl to break my heart. And just as said, later on she left me for someone else, breaking me apart. You really feel like you want to die...when you fall so hard for someone, that nothing else in your life matters, in my case, i tried taking my life...but was rushed to the emergency room and well here i am. I couldn't stop screaming her name at the hospital...i bet everyone working there will remember that name for a while heh, Alaska...is going to be impossible to ever forget that name, thats for sure.....just cause you hear it plenty of times...
It wasn't easy trying to get over it, 3 months later a girl became in love with me, and i honestly didnt give a crap about her, but i just wanted to move on so we became a couple, i told her i wouldn't lover her, and she still did not care. It took me about 4 more months of being with this girl, to finally get my ex off my heart. Later i found out, my ex wanted me back......that she repents making such decision...that it was a mistake...she turned to drinking, smoking, over medicating....to drown her feelings of loneliness and love sickness...or something like that...i feel horrible, still do.
I told my self i would never love anyone ever again, and until i still stand with the same promise in mind. Whenever someone questions me about it, all i say is, I DONT WANT TO DIE haha, cause when i fall for someone apparently i fall hard...so hard i do stupid things if they hurt me...and i just had about enough of that, never again no stupid girl will get in my way i hope, opening your heart to someone, is a very dangerous thing....it can cost you your life....so no thank you!
I however have developed feelings for my gf, and i am not happy about it...for i can feel the pain whenever we fight about anything, thats exactly what i did not want...to feel something for someone...BIG MISTAKE, now you will hurt if you guys split you idiot!! i tell my self....as if my life doesn't suck enough already........
Though, she's crazy in love with me, or so she says, but, i once had a girl who was also "crazy in love" with me.......and she broke my heart into little pieces....
Yet, strangely enough, we are friends now....not the best of buddies but ok i guess heh.
And i still wonder....if i would ever want to love anyone ever again...really doubt it.....love is a dangerous thing....i hate it.
It wasn't easy trying to get over it, 3 months later a girl became in love with me, and i honestly didnt give a crap about her, but i just wanted to move on so we became a couple, i told her i wouldn't lover her, and she still did not care. It took me about 4 more months of being with this girl, to finally get my ex off my heart. Later i found out, my ex wanted me back......that she repents making such decision...that it was a mistake...she turned to drinking, smoking, over medicating....to drown her feelings of loneliness and love sickness...or something like that...i feel horrible, still do.
I told my self i would never love anyone ever again, and until i still stand with the same promise in mind. Whenever someone questions me about it, all i say is, I DONT WANT TO DIE haha, cause when i fall for someone apparently i fall hard...so hard i do stupid things if they hurt me...and i just had about enough of that, never again no stupid girl will get in my way i hope, opening your heart to someone, is a very dangerous thing....it can cost you your life....so no thank you!
I however have developed feelings for my gf, and i am not happy about it...for i can feel the pain whenever we fight about anything, thats exactly what i did not want...to feel something for someone...BIG MISTAKE, now you will hurt if you guys split you idiot!! i tell my self....as if my life doesn't suck enough already........
Though, she's crazy in love with me, or so she says, but, i once had a girl who was also "crazy in love" with me.......and she broke my heart into little pieces....
Yet, strangely enough, we are friends now....not the best of buddies but ok i guess heh.
And i still wonder....if i would ever want to love anyone ever again...really doubt it.....love is a dangerous thing....i hate it.
By:
UnSick
Age:
22-25
,
Male
