I lost my first made story but I'll repeat it..

I can't seem to move on. I just know him, but I already lost him. I really like him not on a boyfriend thing but as a brother. He doesn't know how he is helping me during my breakdowns right now. I always anticipate his next question. He always give some out-of-the-blue question but he can make something on it. I always hoping that we will be great friends, I can call him Seizie directly and he becomes my real big brother I could never have. But I am really too late. I regret it. I regret it that I didn't bombard him of my chats, and not let him see how talkative I can be. I regret it that I did as he told me to block him. I know something was up and I thought I was helping him (even a little) by doing his what he wanted, but because of that, I never knew what came next and i didn't knew what was happening. I regret it that he went away I was not being on his circle.I regret it because I didn't realize how significant he is to me earlier before I cannot stop my tears on flowing. I hate this tingling feeling on my chest. I hate that I was not even had the chance to read all of your confessions. I hate that you leave! I hate that I can't stop crying and keep wiping the tears away for my mom don't see it!

But I am very fortunate that I met you and had the chance to know you even for a short time...... You are so great! I really admire you! And I really keep my promise to you even though it is really hard! Thank you!
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Feb 16, 2013