Am I The Only One

Well i am 29 yrs old was in a relationship where i had 2 children, was all happy at the start , then things went down hill after 6 yrs my daughter was 3 at the time and my son was 3 mths old.Started going out and decided to leave the relationship due to unhapiness.Met a new person after about 2 yrs fell in love straight away,fell pregnant after about 6 mths, silly me to soon. Through my pregnancy was beaten, which was a way for him to go out and cheat on me, this went on for close to a year, found numbers anonymous phone calls at all hours of the morning.One morning called a number that was found in hes phone the other woman told me the story bout their one nite tgether.Anyway had a mnth to go b4 my baby was born and he was warned if he didnt change things would be over, surprisingly things did change he stopped going out its now been 5 yrs and we have a 2 yr old tgether also.SO i have 2 children from my ex and 2 to him.BUT the funny thing is even though its been a long time ago and i have learnt to have trust in him, every time we argue, and when we argue its abusive,, i wish death upon him..... is this normal? I myself have been so hurt by him in the past that i still feel alot of hate towards him. Dont get me wrong im happy i just cant forget. A nd another thing i cry alot about when we fight is my ex partner, my kids father, who was the total opposite very caring and i always trusted just wasnt happy. SO am i abnormal for still feeling love for me ex partner while i am in love with someone else..... mite sound silly just have alot of hurt inside me
beenthere1 beenthere1
26-30, F
Jul 15, 2010