There Is No Forgetting

I lived my child with an alcoholic father. He was verbally, mentally, physically and sexually abusive. At night, the dreams come or my mind wonders to the life that I ran away from when I was 17 years old. I may see something or smell something that reminds me of what it was like. There are movies that I cant watch and books that I cant read because they remind me of that life. As long as I live, as long as there are reminders, I will never forget. Because of that, it is hard for me to forgive. I am a Christian and I am supposed to forgive, but in this case, I find it so hard to do. I hope my children never have to suffer what I did. I will do my best to protect them in every way, especially my daughter. I will murder the person that tries to hurt her.
silvertears silvertears
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 1, 2007

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry you went through this.

I totally understand as i to have had alot of abuse in my life.<br />
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i am a christian too and also struggle with forgivness, i guess we just have to keep giving it to god and one day hopefully we will be whole again.<br />
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"hugs"From Feflower

If you live in the past, you will stay in the past, Living in our past stops us from living our future, If you dont keep your eyes and ears in front of you, then how will you know that someone is invading your life and your childrens life, you cant protect your unit if your not on guard, You should pack up all your night mares, once and for all, and at the back of your mind build your self a big trunk, put all your unfortunate sorrow in your trunk and lock it up with the key, place the key on top of your trunk and leave it as it is, You know you cant change whats happend, but you can do something about it, after all, without your past, you would never of become the beautiful person that you are today, take care.xx