We stopped like I guess talking if we even were because he thinks that not being able to come over and see eachother a lot is a problem I mean yeah it's a problem but I told him before that my mom doesn't care and I just have to ask her to do things and I can tell her if we were ever to date that I am with him . I'm so tired of liking guys then they randomly stop feeling the way they do towards me because my dad I don't know it's not being desperate just the fact that I can't feel what it feels like to be in an actual relationship with someone like everyone else I mean we would have boring conversations he would lie and say I was fun or funny to make me feel good I guess and it did ! but I tried being funny knowing I wasn't haha I don't know i just liked how he just liked to make me smile .. ? Just little things I knew him for a couple days and already felt good with him I liked Him a lot but nobody ever gives me a chance I really can't get over the fact that people don't want to be with me because my dad I mean everyone has different reasons why they stop talking but mine is always the same one don't you know how alone I feel all the time my families never really there for me when it comes to things like this they don't know if I'm acting different or if I'm okay I mean my mom never has time to do anything with me and my dad's always at work my sister won't do anything my aunt makes me mad my little brother doesn't understand me My older brother is never home everyone else moved out I just want someone to have time for me .. You know ? I wanna know I'm at least thought about by one person .. But What made me more mad is how he told me he understands why my dad does that and how he would probably do the same thing for his little girl .. If he really understood none of this would ever be a problem .. I just want someone to give me a chance and I don't want anyone to hear this because I don't want them only being with me cause they feel sorry for me . I just wanna be happy for once .. I don't like feeling like this .. But I always do cause i know this is going to happen for a long time .. Why can't my dad accept the fact I'm going to be dating people sooner or later I can't just keep secrets all my life . I just want someone to understand me . But no one can . I just wanna be in love with someone I wanna feel loved and be lucky to have someone who would actually give me a chance I wanna feel like We have no worries whatsoever .. My life honestly sucks .. Just the little things I wanna do with someone will make me happy like going to their games or going out to eat or to the movies or even just hanging out just anything .. If someone would just give me a chance I bet I can change their mind .. But nobody's tried . I sound dumb venting about a guy I like already over 4 days but it's just the same situation for everyone because I'm never going to ever be able to do any of those things other people do . I mean if he gave me a chance and still doesnt like that we aren't going to see eachother 24/7 then okay that's fine because he tried and I'll be lucky enough to know he tried to make me happy even if he wasn't . I just wanna know the feeling though .. I've talked and dated guys one for even almost a year and I've never had that feeling . it's highschool and I see everyone with someone .. I just want to know ... I've never felt so attached to someone so fast . I wish I just never talked to him it would've just been so much easier . Sorry this is long ..
samanthac99 samanthac99
18-21, F
Aug 31, 2014