In Pain And Suffering

It took me some time to persuade the girl to share her life story.

I want to share this story of this particular person. She was born on 30th December, 1998, in a city called Hong Kong. The moment where she first opened her eyes to the world is the beginning of a new chapter of happiness. And suffering.

This child was the youngest of the four siblings, being born to a family with a growing family buisness. What else can she hoped for? It was all going as usual and well. She had no worries in kindergarten. Being popular due to her bubbly nature, and the person to always have the habit to draw in her textbooks.

All was going well. She enjoyed life in Hong Kong with all her kindergarten friends. She thought life would be full of joy and support. Well,

Until she turned 6.

Having to leave her best friends behind due to a decision made by her parents- the most, fatal choice her dad ever made, the family moved to the Republic Of Singapore. Stepping into the arrival, she had no idea what fate had in stall for her.

It was painful for the little girl, unable to recognize a single face when she entered a primary school far from her home. However, the sweet girl adjusted her life and soon she was having a great time with her newfound friends. The family buisness was terrific, slowly growing over time. The little restaurant owned by the little girl's family was soon found by the media not long after.

The little girl was once the kind soul, that would offer her recess snack to her friend, carry books for the teacher. Not soon after she adjusted her life to a new environment, the girl's soul was, for the first time pumelled by a sledge hammer, so strong, that it changed her life, and her personality, forever.

There she was, staring in shock , at the two individuals quarreling. At first, she didnt get what was happening. Her older twin sister, too, didnt had an idea. Then as it kept on repeating,it got worst and worst. Even the police had to arrive at their doorstep. It slowly dawned on her.That very moment, her life was thrown into the abyss.

She would ask herself, " Is mommy and daddy supposed to do that? Is every parent supposed to do that?" Every quarrel would make her want to hide in her room and lock her door. She cant stand the fact to see her two parents violently beating each other up, seeing the pain, the tears, and hearing her mom's cries, it slowly took a toll on her.

As she got older, she changed drastically. From being the girl well loved by others, the individual who would never fail to leave a smile on her face, to the girl who would be loafed by others, the girl in the corner, and the target for bullies.She was also socially awkward now. Where had all my skills fly off to ? The poor girl's development was being haywired.

Once, her mom entered the room and pressurized her to talk to her father. She cant. It traumatized her so much that to today she would still remember that very dreadful day. Remembering herself crouching against the wall, crying her eyes out, shivering badly and hugging her twin sister, too crying. For her and her twin, they are like trapped rats and they had no were to escape.

After some time, as the outcome of each "brawl" went from a slap to a hardened choke onto the floor, her personality completely jeoparized.

When she was Primary 6, it destroyed her completely. The words that escaped her mother's mouth were like stinging barbed swords, that pierced her heart so badly.

Her grandfather passed away in Hong Kong . It was the sunday and tommorow there was school. Her mother and her cried all night. When she arrived to school the next day, she only told one classmate. Not one except her knew. It was so painful that she couldnt take it. No one was there to pat her shoulder.

When she was Secondary 1, she completely forgotten about the dormant situation,even though it was in the back of her head, it still scarred her. and she was suffering so much.

All she can do was a straight face. She had the deep hatred of a devil inside her that no one can see. She was known as the "outcast" of Sec 1XX. Even though she wasnt popular at all and she was known as the nerd due to her wide glasses, she still ace'd at her History and her science. Being well liked by her teachers due to her polite and kind persona.

But, that polite and kind face she gave was the mask of a evil avenger thinking of ways to kill her father. She hated all her classmates, because she was way mature than them. She thinks very differently from her classmates. And therefore she thinks they are not worth talking to and they are very retarded.

Irony is, she still longs for support and love in her class. Her mother had to suffer everyday in the hands of her dad, so called "beast" by her mother. Being lonely, only her thoughts is her best friend in school.

She hid all the sorrow in her heart, waiting one day for a girl to finally understand her and take her under her wing. So far, no one knew in her class a bout what she was going through. Her family situation. However the girl wasnt trying to be an attention seeker. She was the suffer-in-silence type.

The thing about shy people, is that when you dont know them, they are very quiet and they could just crumble any second. But the moment you know them, they are the most pyschotic people you've ever met. So in the case of her.

Her favourite pastime was drawing manga-like cartoons and cosplaying. She loved cosplaying because, playing as the character, you become someone else. And because she liked the attention, it makes her feel that she can show off her real personality and her real self.

She felt empty,like she was an empty shell . she felt her personality, - her identity slowly being eroding away. That persona is like a shell to her, it covers her real personality, lying in the cold inside her. With no one to give her a blanket. And theres that persona deep deep in her that longs for revenge for causing such suffering to her mother. So far, no one had saw that lust for revenge.
Around March, her family and that now 13th year old girl went back to her homeland to pay respects to her ancestors and her grandparents. Visiting their graves was painful as she couldnt bear to see her grandfather dead, but she was glad at the same time. Being able to reunite with his wife in heaven. The two tombstones were there, side by side. As she paid her respects and as she looked at her grandma and pa, she vowed in her heart that she would one day give justice to her mother.

When they stayed in the hotel with her mom and dad and her twin, it got into a fight again. The first time when the whole scene enacted in front of her. Fist up, ready to punch her mom with such fury in his eyes. She, holding up her face in defence and eyes full of fear.

It traumatised her so badly that when the next day of new school semester came on, she was so quiet. So very quiet. Not a single word escaped from her mouth.

She was put on counselling because her form teacher feared that her supreme quietness has got something to do with her family. However, she passed counselling because she didnt want anyone to get involved.

The now, 14 year old is girl constantly being persuaded by her mom and dad, to get on her or his side. It was a very agonizing decision to even think WHO is the one thats in the wrong. So much things. She was being fed with a lot of unbelieveable and too good to be true (lies?)facts of each of her parent's doings. She didnt know who to trust anymore. So, it took a toll on her school personality. Unable to trust anyone. When someone claims that a lesson is going to be conducted at location A, she had to ask 5 other people to confirm it.

She didnt know why she was doing it.

She finally had a friend. However, she would take advantage of her. I felt sorry for her... All she wanted was a friend. Why is it so hard to get a friend that doesnt do all that bad stuff?

She always talked to her normally in her real self. It made her forget all the traumatizing events that took place before. She had a lot of fun with her. Even if they are quite different in a way she will always find a way to make it fun for both of them.

Her friend is very special to her. She would teach her how to do girl things and she was always there for her. When she cried due to the peer pressure by her family, she was there with her. Patting her shoulder, the girl finally felt the true meaning of love. She was so happy that she wanted to cry. She couldnt thank her enough. The first person ever.

Without this special friend, this girl wouldnt have been dressing as a girl. (Yes, the main character is very tomboyish). The girl sees this friend as another sister who was always there for her. She always wanted to thank her and hug her but she always didnt had the chance to.

Its that she would just burst into tears and hug her. She meant a lot to her.

Today, this girl is currently 14. This year she is turning 15. In her new Secondary 2 class she is currently trying hard to be sociable. But unfortunenately things arent really planning well. Due to some people in her class that she really despise, she had thoughts of killing the entire class.

However, she is keen to try to make new friends and step out of her comfort zone.

Her dream was to be a pilot. Its because when she saw pilots at the airport when they are travelling overseas she saw how much they were respected. And being able to take to the skies with people's lives in your hands, she feels that its a job she must do.

She is studying hard to try to get to a Polytechnic that offers Aerospace and at the same time juggling her family probelm that gets worst every minute. Her childhood may be very agonizing, but she is willing to set things right.

This girl, longs for your support. She is strong and willing not to give up.

It will not be easy, but I will try my best. I will never give up.

Sorry for the long story.

Fortitudo1 Fortitudo1
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 14, 2013