I can't it's the only thing that keeps me sane. Even through these tough times , yes i cry but i pull my self together and put on a brave face and inside it brings me joy even if its only a spark! And i wont let anyone put it out.It's important for my friends to be joyful though. I will be joyful for them i will not let my feelings bring them down that would be selfish. =) so i am always trying to be joyful and no, no one an take it from me because it comes from the soul so cannot be take, or easily at least... I would fight to the death for it!