I've Learnt My Lesson
So an ex came into my life recently and wanted to get back together. And I'm grateful he did.
I remember once after one of my breakups a married friend (a wonderful guy who truly adores his wife - he is the dream we aim for) told me that I should see these guys in lessons on what I don't want so that when the guy I do want comes around I'll recognise him coz he won't have the **** qualities I've already eliminated.
So yes I'm glad this ex came back. He reminded me of a quality of his (and some of my other exes) that I cannot live with. He expects me to be little mis meek and mild. I'm only supposed to say the things he wants to hear and I must ignore the things he does wrong. I have opinions OK! And I will voice them.
He's also reminded me that too many times I have let a man affect my view of myself. I let them let me feel worthless and unwanted when really they are losing out.
I know I can be a bit much to handle sometimes. I'm highly opinionated. I have a lot of male friends (jealous boyfriends have tried to isolate me from them). I am friendly, so sorry if you interpret that as flirting (jealous boyfriends who even tried to isolate me from girls). I'm good at a lot of things and finally not shy to admit it. I'm intelligent and I can prove it, but I have no need to. I'm pretty when I comb my hair.
But that's me. And if a guy can't handle who I am it's his problem. Never again will I quiet down so he feels manlier, smarter, whatever! Never again will I spend hours, days, minutes crying over another man that didn't deserve me.
it's like that saying that no man is worth crying over and the one that is will never make you cry.
I will wait for the man that accepts me as I am. And if he never comes that's ok too... Because guess what. I like me. It's taken a long time but I do. And while there are things I want to change, these are all things for me to be a stronger, better, happier me.
But I'm lucky, it's enough for me to like me but I also have friends who accept me as I am. So thank you to those friends in "real" life and on EP for helping me become ok with myself. And helping me realise that change is good but it needs to be for me, not to keep some man happy
Wow but I can write a lot of nonsense!