Riding Out The Storm

The more I've been beaten on, abused, humiliated, hurt...they more I realize, people around me who harm me: people who said they would care for me, will not let me rest until I have nothing left takeable, nothing left to sustain me. They may robbed me my psychological, physical health, my human dignity...they may have crushed my dreams beneath their feet, laughed while doing so... but I am alive, and that's victory. Sometimes it tempting to take my life myself: that last thing, that, if all else is taken, I will still, on some level, possess. I think "better I take it myself than they take it from me." yet, this not true. They may not be killing me, taking my life from me: no it is worse: I am giving it to them. Another thought stops me: I do not want this to be all my life consisted of. If I quit now, my whole life will be: misery of what already occurred. If I quit, my life will be defined by the abuse and humiliation I have experienced. Yet, if, in some way, I can survive...my life may be more than this. In the future, it may be beautiful, meaningful. These two thoughts keep me living. I must ride out the storm... and if lighting strikes me, it cannot be helped, but if I drown myself in the rain, there is not ever anymore chance of seeing sunlight, and all because of my own actions.
ValentinK ValentinK
18-21, M
Jul 21, 2010