I Can't.

It took me two failed attempts to realise that I was not meant to end my own life. Despite the reoccuring thoughts of death which plague me from time to time, I think I have been managing quite well. Almost seven months of being cut-free has been a strange and powerful experience - it has taught me to find alternative methods of coping with depressive thoughts without resorting to self-mutilation. I often also find it hard to believe that there are actually people who care about me, and who would be upset if I died. These people are not just my family - I am fortunate enough to have made several friends over the past year who I am able to talk to about my problems. My problem, I think, is that I forget about the ones who care and worry about the ones who don't. Perhaps it is something I need to work on... if these thoughts were to vanish, perhaps the thoughts of death would, too.
lntel lntel
2 Responses Apr 24, 2012

I think it's great that you realized that you weren't meant to die and didn't try to commit suicide after the second time. I love how you mention that you know there are people that care about you. It's true for everyone I think, but we never think of that when we try to kill ourselves, when we really should. They really DO care and would be devastated if we died. I know that I'm still glad to be here after attempting to commit suicide several times, and so are the people that really love me.

I'm very glad to hear this, maybe you are turning a corner here. Keep it up!