Not After C

my best friend lost her twin sister this easter to suicide. she was bipolar, and had dispraxia, and her heart had just been broken. she was 18. she jumped.


i saw my best friend go from the most amazing girl you could know, so full of life and fun, to just this empty shell, so consumed by grief. what hurt her the most is that she couldnt save her. losing someone is awful, but knowing that they chose to leave you is so much worse.

we went from going out every few nights, taking pills and drinking stella at 11am, always laughing, always having fun, to her just drinking continuously, constantly on the verge of tears.


she is so torn up with guilt, and pain that her sister wanted to leave, she can bearly function. i never thought suicide was selfish, but seeing how this affected hre family, would it really have been that hard for her to stick around? it would have gotten better, eventually.


so no, i will do everything in my power never put others through that.

Tesse Tesse
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 8, 2008

thats awful, im so sorry for your loss :(

yeah, that is really horrible, especially with kids.... was it spontanious?<br />
it sounds awful but poeple saw it coming with c like watching a car crash in slow motion....

thats horrible...<br />
I dont hate CC, no one does. Even her sister holds no resentment. just an immense sadness at the loss of such a beautiful woman. <br />
she had demons most couldnt imagine, living was so hard for her, and no one blames her for wanting to give up. the was s descibes it she was never happy, even as a child.<br />
but now everyone she left is going through that sadness too.