Disgusting.

im 15, about 5'7" give or take a couple inches. i think i look ok in the mirror or in a bikini but it horribly bothers me that i can pinch more than an inch. i watched a video in school about eating disorders and how if you can pinch an inch you might be over wieght. i wiegh like 150!! thats alot more than all of my friends im sure. no one weighs that much, even some guys i know weigh only 110 its crazy how much heavier i am. i wont let anyone try and pick me up because then they'll notice how fat i am. i've been trying to not eat as much and if i go without food for one or 2 days its not being anorexic is it? i dont think so as long as i dont go for more than 2 days its not. ive been doing as many sit ups as i can before my stomach hurts too bad or i fall asleep for the last few nights. and its getting a bit better. i dont like the small bit of pudge, and i mean my boyfriend and friends say i look really skinny but i DONT. im chubby and it isnt fair. everyone of my family members has told me i need to do sit ups or to not eat so much or not eat fatty foods at least once and its stupid because i dont think im fat at all. i just want my mom and dad to look at me and say yeah, shes skinny shes smart and we LOVE her. i know about how bulimia kills and anorexia does too, but i eat TOO much. so i cut out eating some meals, ill skip dinner and say i already ate or ill have a few cookies and say im full. but i always end up feeling starving before i go to sleep and its not fair. i wish the ******* world could accept that im not fat because im not. its dumb how since i was even 5 years old people have said oh well you need to not eat so much cake or why havent you ate anything, you look so thin??! right now all i ate today was cereal at 12pm and chips and cookies at 7pm and i keep track of what i eat and i eat fruits and vegetables.i understand how its you're bmi that matters not weight but it still kills to have "rolls" when i sit down and to not dare sit in a bikini at the pool EVER, or to have my arms jiggle when i wave or something. its ******* rediculous how i have to be super skinny just to feel like im wanted in this ******* world.
kimosabi kimosabi
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 5, 2007

ohh god I'm having the same problem right now, probably worse. I'm 15, 5'2'' and I weight 125. I can't even stand to look at myself. I think my friends are probably lying to me when they say I look fine.

At the moment, you are in the healthy weight range for your age and height. But sadly, you are surrounded a WHOLE LOT OF STUFF that is very confusing and upsetting, and you are getting a lot of really bad information (apart from what Constant said, she knows what's what!). The best thing you can do for yourself right now is focus on one thing, and just one thing. Your body is the body that will carry you and support you and love you through the rest of your life. So you need to learn how to keep it well, healthy and happy. If you learn how to do that, you can be 100% confident that you will be attractive to the right people, and that you are doing the right thing for *you*, and you will be an inspiration for others. :)

you're correct ... the world's ideals are out of line by far. the implications of these ideals is far reaching into society and quite detrimental. HOWEVER ... with that said, you need to do YOUR part in it and refuse to succumb to it! you need to eat properly. chips and cookies are not appropriate ... EVER! fruits and veggies ... YES! don't skip meals as that lowers your metabolism. actually ... the smaller meals you eat 4-6 a day will increase your metabolism ... i utilize an awesome website chalk full of info and help. www. sparkpeople.com it's free and it's beyond fantastic!