Olden Days Of Uo

Oh, where to begin?  The gentlemen who come into ***** clubs are all kinds:  funny, sweet, rude, pitiable, and the list goes on.  I used to have one regular customer who would come in wearing a suit between 4 and 6 AM every other Saturday night.  (Why he would be wearing business attire at this hour, I have NEVER figured out.)  Anyway, he would show up completely hammered, and sit near the back corner.  Sometimes a little closer up, but always in the vicinity.  He would call me over, every time, and strike up a conversation as if he had never seen me before in his life.  He never chose anybody but me to call over, but he never remembered doing this before.  This went on for over a year.  Each time, we would discuss the prices of dances, and he would ALWAYS spend $100, and tip $20.  When we got back to the VIP room, and I began to dance for him, he would chatter endlessly.  First, he would tell me how beautiful I was, how much he wanted to **** me.  Then, almost seamlessly, he would begin praying to Jesus for forgiveness for wanting to **** me.  He would alternate like this for the entire ten minutes.


Of course, my personal favorite story.  There was a guy who wanted to buy a dance from me, but he wanted to buy it for another woman.  He wanted me to dance for her, and he wanted to come back with us.  He said to me, I SWEAR TO GOD, "I like to watch.  I'm what they call a voyager."  WIthout missing a beat, I just said "Oh, I love Star Trek," and walked away.Ol

unobserver unobserver
31-35, F
16 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Great stories! Made me laugh at work, so I had to quiet down before I could type a comment. :)

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But, to quote one of my other customers, it wasn't my job to play with them. I was just a ****** wrecker.

Everyone should have a Woody to play with.

Maybe he was too buzzed to have a Woody. The girl was just a cover.

The buzz part was necessary to deal with the woody.

That's not a Trekkie Glow. That's a Buzz and a Woody. :-P

Mind fungus is a killer. Much like what happened to my fish, only less cottony.

There are so many things I could say here...

I prefer NOT to meld with infected minds, glow.

Too bad he didn't want to join in. I hear Trekkies can take you to infinity and beyond.

It was VERY hard work not to laugh in his face.

I think it was Uo working hard so he could get his voyager beamed up :-P

That poor man had to work so hard to get his voyager beamed up.

Well, my stage name was Mary Jane, so pretty much every dj I ever worked with would play Rick James "Mary Jane" at least once a night for me. But my personal favorite was what I called my "Nerd Block." It was "She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby followed by "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco. Good times, those. I was never exactly slick, or sultry, or much of a vixen, but I was silly and uninhibited and had a wonderful time with some suprisingly decent people.

:-D Did you have a song? Like a personal theme song or maybe one you just danced most to?