Questions That I Asked the Youth of Today

Mankind has been on this earth for over 250,000 and is just beginning to figure out how to parent. The truth is, there is no right or wrong way as long as what you do is pursued with good intention and love. Bad children can happen to good parents and good children can happen to bad parents. it's mostly a crap shoot, really.

If I could change anything it would probably be the fact they seem to have little concern for me. I can say that if and when I become a parent i would do this and that differently but I can't promise I actually would. Overall I want to be a parent who can make their child feel loved and actually talk with them so they don't feel the need to have to express their emotions to a laptop like I have to. The biggest thing I think parents should do is to talk to your kids and be their for them and try to understand them. especially as their a teen because they start to see valid reasons for their emotions, I hate nothing more than when I try to tell them how I feel and they write it off as, "it's a phase", "That's Life" and the like.

I love my parents. I guess I wish that when I was younger they put their foot down when I said I wanted to quit something. Of course I guess in their defense I'm the type to be interested in everything but I think it would have taught me that nothing is fun until you're good at it. I just wish they would have pushed me harder in school instead of secretly worrying I was dumb or something. Elementary-High School: No class there is is too hard to ACE for your average kid. For the most part they did what they could with the means they have available to them. I love that they were so laid back because most other people are running around worrying about stupid stuff, getting offended at every little thing. I'm kind of glad they put me in church even though I'm an atheist because that introduced to the bible which introduced me to philosophy which as opened my world. But as a parent I wouldn't let religion anywhere near my children just because it caused me a great deal stress and if taken too seriously (like I did) it can be hazardous. I wish my parents we're better off so i wouldn't have to become super rich to make sure they'll be able to retire. I think I'll put my kids in private schools because public schools kind of have this atmosphere of nobody wants to be here.

Good points made by shan an bt both. Havin kids goes best when part of a PLAN ... the plan is never perfect, but babies raisin babies is seldom easy. Ask any teen mom.



I think there are HUGE benefits in waitin to have kids. Though I didn' wait quite as long as bt, Iwas married 10 years before decidin we'd have em. As a result, our relationship, though far from perfect, was allowed to grow on its own. We traveled ... got the toys ... built a house. THEN we had children.



We - an friends our age - can cearly see we've had an easier go of it for waitin.



Few plan to fail ... many fail to plan.

A message to every generation past, present, and future: THINK before you have kids! better yet...try thinking on your own all the time instead of following how it's always been done or what you were raised to think or even what other people you know think...Think about the consequences of your actions most of all...Think about what's important...Don't just assume you know...And if you can't figure out something by logic alone...then DO something to figure it out...something we all as human beings have in common is that not one of us has all the answers...another thing we all have in common is the ability to FIND answers. I just think too many people take it for granted...perhaps parents should teach their kids not to.



I personally, don't want to be a parent.

My parents were good people with small minds. I guess that's the best way to put it. The things i want for My Son is that he is NEVER afraid to talk to me about anything, and never ashamed to ask for help when he needs it. Beyond that my parents did great and I'm following along, firm and structured- encouraging and loving.



My dad said it to me- and I've already said it to my son more than once "I will always love you but i don't always like your choices"

My parents were pretty strict, so in turn I was a little of the opposite. However much we may not want to be like our parents, inevitably we do bring some of their traits along without realising it. My children are some of my best friends. It's true. We don't cut each other alot of slack when it comes to the serious stuff, whatever it might be. The main things I wanted my children to grow up with were respect, compassion and empathy. I have to tell you that I am proud of my kids for what they know and what they do, but i admire them for who they are and thats being really good people on the inside. My kids are my heros, really.

I'm going to give you a strange answer... I wouldn't change a thing of my upbringing...

It was bad at the best of times, but it made me who i am today, which is a strong person!

There's alot i would do different though, or at least try to do different...

I would tell my children i love them no matter what...

I would hug them without a reason...

I would explain why I was mad and what they should do different...

I would never put anyone else before them...

I would tell them about mistakes i've made, but i'd let them bump their own heads if they choose to...

I would tell them they're beatifull on the outside as long as they're beautifull on the inside as well...

I would try and help them to be strong as well, to make their choises wisely and to be responsible

As a child, I wish I had been taught to follow my OWN dream,not the wishes and dreams of my mother or grandparents. I wish I had received more encouragement and acceptance and love from my family. I wish I could have counted on my father and trusted him with my life, and not had him take advantage of me at an early age. He taught me bad wrong things about people. I guess sometimes it had to be someone close to you that has to fail you so that you can learn not to put your trust where its not earned.

I wish I had not been deluded into thinking that my mother was always right. I wish I had learned earlier on how fallible people are in what they say and know and do. We are all human. The lies should stop. Nobody is perfect. Help me to connect with you, tell me where you have failed yourself and others. I wish I had felt that connection earlier on. I wish I wasn't so naive to people and their motivations.

As a parent, I want to protect my son from the harshness of reality, and i want him to grow up intelligent, openminded, and responsible and resilient. This world demands a flexible person of you. YOu have to be able to roll with the punches, and keep going. I want to be there for my son when he needs me and maybe when he doesn't mind having me there. I want to make sure he doesn't turn into a vain, careless, wasteful person who hurts others. I want to bring out the good in him, and teach him how to make his weaknesses strong.

SeaAngel

Thank you for your post, I want as many people and as many young adults to respond to this as possible. We can learn a lot from each other this way.

If I could change something about my upbringing, it would be that my mum wouldn't have stayed with my dad. She ended up leaving him when I was 17, which was far, far too late! We would have all been happier with him out of the picture!.

As far as what I hope to be for my children...I think I would say 'a listener'. I hope they know that everything they say to me, no matter how trivial it may seem, is always important, relevent, and worthy of my time!

I think we all, as parents, as aunts, uncles, and fellow humans, should encourage children to do anything they want. To choose a career based on the joy it will bring them and the usefulness it has in others lives, and not the monetary gain it may bring. (I just participated in a career day at my local H.S.!) I love this post, great questions!

Write these things down, remember them, and make sure that when it is your turn to be a parent you do things a little different. Time changes us and how we remember how things were. If things are going to change then the change has to start with us. Learn from it, remember it and become better because of it. Make it your strength when you become a parent. Time goes by quickly, I didn't learn to really communicate with my parents until I was in my middle 30's. Don't give up hope on talking with your parents. It will happen, it just takes time.

Actually, my dad does come down to my room to see how my day was. But I always reply "fine" or "good" and leave it at that. Which leads to another point: the rare times that I have discussed my honest feelings in the past, I've always been roared at for it. They say I'm childish and emotional. So over the years, I've learned to hide my feelings, and not bother letting them in on anything they don't absolutely need to know. When I get into relationships, they only know if they find out themselves. I sure never tell them. If I'm upset, I hold it all in behind a mask of Good, Happy Daughter. Home is a stage.

Yes! my first post on this topic and a good one too.



You are correct, as a parent I have to catch myself at times and remember that I was a kid once too. I made mistakes and it was not the end of the world. I remember wanting my dad to come down to my room to see how my day was or to take interest in what I was doing out in the shop. It seemed like the only time I really heard from my parents was if I forgot to put something away or if I screwed up. They may not remember it that way but it is how I remembered it. We just need to be careful of how we are perceived by our children. There is an old saying of possession is 9/10th of the law. With children it is perception. It is not what we say as parents that matters it is what they understand as children.



Very good post my friend, thank you.



Andy

I often declare "When I become a parent, I will NEVER do A, B, and C that my parents are doing!" Then I realize that I usually have no better solution, and I will probably end up doing exactly what they did. Sigh. No one can really point fingers until they've become a parent themselves.



I think one thing I can say pretty safely, though, is I wish my parents encouraged me more. I know they love me, but the way they say things often tears me apart. They keep quiet when they're proud of me and rant when they're disappointed. This leads to me feeling like I'm a horrible, untalented, stupid kid. When I reveal this, they scold me for "being too sensitive" and getting the wrong idea. But it's not like I could possibly think anything else, given the way they talk!