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Wishing Is Like Breathing

I can't go through life without wishing.  To me, wishing is the same as dreaming, and if I have no dreams I have no reason to continue existing.  So I wish... I wish I were a calmer person.  I wish I didn't have to battle the inner daemons I have.  I wish I were a better mother (or at least that my kids would listen to me).  I wish there were a way to have what I want and not hurt the people around me to get it if anyone ever found out.  I wish I'd finished college.  I wish my business would take off.  I wish my mother didn't have MS and wasn't confined to a nursing home.  I wish she had taken the meds when they first found the MS so I wouldn't have to take care of her now.  I wish I wasn't the only pregnancy she allowed to come to term.  I wish my ex-stepmother hadn't made my life so miserable, or hadn't chosen my half brother over me so much.  I wish my Dad were happier.  I wish I could say I wasn't a divorcee, remarried once.  I wish life could be what I dream about...

Some of these wishes I can do something about now, some of them I have no option and must simply endure the reality.   But no matter which option applies, I still have this overwhelming drive to wish...to dream... to hope.  Without it, I am barely human.

dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 12, 2007

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Thanks Ward. :) I intend to keep dreaming... we'll see which ones come true! :)

Well, dreams can make up for a lot of the not so good parts of our lives, can't they? I'd say, keep dreaming, some of them might come through for you.<br />
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Warm regards,<br />
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from ward