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Why?!

Why? Why does love have to control every thought you have.?
I am in love with a guy from school, I know im young, but i think i have a good grasp of what love is.

He doesnt know that i love him, all he knows is that we had a 'thing'. All we did was kiss, cuddle and a little more R rated stuff, but i am proud to say, im still a virgin.Having his arms around me was the best feeling in the world. It wasnt awkward, it wasnt weird and my heart couldnt stop fluttering. He was my everything,, he still is. But we all want what we cant have.
Every thought i have, is of him. i replay everything we did, every conversation in my head and hold on to the sweetest memories of my life. After smiling of remembering something amazing about him, i then begin the crying. Lonliness is a harsh and brutal thing, it makes you have dark thoughts. I have now cried myself to sleep for about a week and a bit. I know im probably being a sook, but when he told me he was in love with someone else, when he walked away,,,,, he walked away with my heart. My heart will never be the same, not until the day comes that he will turn around, give me another one of his amazing kisses and tells me that everything is ok and that he loves me. until then, im walking around like a zombie.. i cant function right! why does everyone say love is so great, when all it does is rips out your heart and kills all chances of hope?
i want him to love me.... i only want to be loved my him and only him. I cant think about him without my heart missing a beat, without my palms going all sweaty and without every ounce of my body wanting to be kissed by him again.

Does this feeling ever go away? because right now, it doesnt feel like it ever will
BleedingOut BleedingOut 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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I completely feel for you! I am so in love with this guy, he's the subject of my only 2 stories, and he and I have done a lot together, all the sweet stuff, and the R rated, and he now has a new girlfriend and I've been pushed back out of the way, just his best friend. I hate feeling this way knowing he doesn't feel the same, and I miss his kisses and the way he held me so much it hurts. I totally can relate, it sucks.:( :( :(

Oh, my god. I feel for you. Sometimes, you know, life is cruel. Because if you could ever read what you wrote today 20 years from now. It would all be very different. Probably even 3 years from now it might be very different. But in the light of how old you are, and your life experience, I do understand. I felt the same at your age. So yes, the feeling will go away. I was in love with someone at your age and we never had anything. I seldom if ever think about him. Your post actually made me think of that time and of that person I was in love with. I'm with a wonderful man now who is completely in love with me. Chemistry, hormones, they make us think he's the one. The one that chases you, the one that leaves no doubt for you of being loved, actually might be the one ....