Dude Is Worse Than A Bill Collector.

This guy...he's not my boyfriend(even though he tells everyone he is) He calls my phone NON-STOP. Every few hours he's calling and texting, asking me the same questions over and over: where are you? what are you doing? Its really annoying but Ive been patient b/c I do like him and I don't want to hurt his feelings but im getting tired of it. The other day he kept calling so I just sent all calls straight to voicemail He left 11 in a time-frame of 3 hrs. I finally answered and told him that I'd hang with him later and I'd call when I was on my way. That didn't stop him from blowing up my phone. He kept sending me angry texts about why I was ignoring him and why I hadn't left yet. The way I felt was like what beyonce said on that song: THE WAY YOU BLOWING UP MY PHONE WON'T MAKE ME LEAVE NO FASTER, PUT MY COAT ON FASTER, LEAVE MY GIRLS NO FASTER. I SHOULDA LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME CUZ THIS A DISASTER. CALLING LIKE A COLLECTOR. SORRY I CANNOT ANSWER. I do like him but if he's acting like this before we even make anything official or be intimate, I doubt we'll be moving past where we are right now.

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4 Responses Feb 10, 2010

As someone who has been on the receiving end of stalking, I'm telling you right now you need to change your number and tell all your friends NOT to give it out unless you've cleared it for the person who wants it! This guy is exhibiting possessive, controlling behavior and its NOT ok! People like that escalate their behavior and can become violent and predatory, and you aren't doing yourself any favors by trying to be nice. <br />
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On a side note, keep a log of his calls and texts, down to time and exact messaging, as well as personal approaches. If there's no record, it didn't happen, and stalking laws are very vague. If you do this, its a way to protect yourself and if necessary to tell law enforcement what's happening. Every little thing you do can help keep this guy from doing this to someone else and escalating his behavior. <br />
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At this point, you know SOME of what he's doing...I would suggest making sure you're alone as little as possible in case he tries to approach or follow you somewhere, because this behavior could become predatory very easily and you might not even realize it until its already happened. <br />
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If there is any way to move AWAY from where he is, I would do it. If you don't have a roommate and this continues, get one! I would even suggest going so far as to get pepper spray and a stun gun just in case. <br />
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This might seem like paranoia and overkill, but when it comes to stalking, you CANNOT be too careful! Please take it on the advice of someone who has been there!

Use your own judgement when dealing with this guy, but when he's not respecting that you need your space, then maybe it's time to reconsider if you really like him enough to go through with it. No one's perfect, so don't expect him to be, but some people just don't mesh well together, so if he's not working go find someone else who will respect your space and the time you need away from him. He shouldn't expect you to always give him what he wants if he doesn't let you have what you want. But again, your own judgement should be your ultimate authority in this matter. If he makes you uncomfortable that's a big problem. If he's really clingy then he may not even accept that you don't want to talk to him anymore, and then you might need to change your phone #

And you're being patient because you like him.....why???<br />
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This guy seems to be nothing but deal breakers and, the way I see it, things will only get worse. He's a control freak and there's no cure for that. Stop being a push over and cut this guy loose once and for all. <br />
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If you don't , you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

He seems like STALKER STATUS and if I were you I would not get involved with him. A person that is that consumed with your whereabouts needs a life and he can be very dangerous for you. I would also change my # and tell him your not interested and leave him alone all together. Of course this is your decision but he seems very suspect and be very careful.