I Am On a Road to Self-improvement

I am trying to be a better person. I want to be a better friend and a better person all-round. I would love to be more sociable, less shy, less avoidant of stressful situations, and more confident in myself and my abilities.

I want to be able to communicate better with others. I feel that I do want to help other people. I have wanted to help others for a long time. I just lacked confidence. now I am starting to build-up my confidence in my ability to help other people. I may not have much advice to offer, but I know now that i can help people just by listening to their story and not judging. i think when I write it is often a chance for me to 'shrink' my self and my problems, so i think by just being there to be written-to I can help people.

I was definitely having problems with self-esteem and self-image. I used to identify myself as a villain, just so I would have some  way to punish myself and repeat in my head all the stuff that I had heard constantly when I was growing-up. I still do this often. If i read a story on EP that contains a villain character, I will usually start telling myself that i am the villain in the story, or am just like him. I know little about why I do this. I know it has to stop. i know I am definitly not a villain. I really never was! It was just my dad playing 'silly-buggers' in my head.

demonizd demonizd
31-35, M
Feb 22, 2009