I am not happy. I am young...20..and married. and I love him with everything I have. But I look back on our past and I am starting to hate him for what he did to me. and wonder why I took him back. Why I did I use every ounce of strength I had to keep him. I could do so much better. He cheated and lied to me..yet I forgave him. Why am I regreting all this now? why didn't I regret this before we got married. He has changed, he is different, he does appreciate me and love me. but now I have come to the realization that I can do better, that I deserve better. I don't know what to do...I am lost...and unhappy with life.
amity amity
22-25, F
5 Responses Jul 1, 2007

I'm in the same place you're in my advice is to walk away cuz this feeling will never go away. and try not to have kids with this person. it will only complicate things. hope you find happiness

WOW that really opens my eyes MJ2007, thanks for your insight.

Happiness is a state of being....what you just told here is that you're husband is changed, appreciates you and loves you. That should make a happy marriage for you. But perhaps, you were quite young (only 20) when you got married. What you feel maybe is discontent that you haven't yet lived the most of your young life but now you're faced with the much greater responsibility of a married life.

No I do not have kids. just furry ones. hahaha. I also feel like a fought so hard so long and put up with so much ****...and now I am going to leave. but again what does matter? my happiness? or just putting up with something I feel I was owed?

Do you have kids? That makes it more complicated. Otherwise, you said it know what you have to do. Forget the voices of disapproval...follow your own voice and be strong. Make good choices...they're usually the harder ones to make. You need happiness...why waste life?