Enough.

No matter how often anyone says otherwise, i will never feel like enough, just the way i am.
I'll never be smart enough for my mother, who treats me like a child- she still sees me as an emotional and unintelligent prepubescent.
I'll never be pretty enough for my boyfriend- whose ex girlfriend is a typical pretty Wyoming blonde with nice eyes.
I'll never be kind enough for myself- i know i could do so much better at being caring and nice to others.
I'll never be creative enough for my future- where i secretly dream of being an author.
I'll never be trusting enough for my lover and future lovers- i'll never believe they love me, no matter how much they do, and i'll never believe i'm worth anything to them.
I'll never be ambitious enough for life- only the ambitious make it anywhere, and if i dont even have the determination to live, how will i succeed?
I'll never be happy enough for the rest of the world- how can anyone want to spend time with me when i'm so unhappy? I'm a bringer-downer, but if i was anythnig else, my energy levels would die. It's already taking all of my energy as is to wake up and show up.
So badly, i wish i was enough. But more than that, i wish i could *feel* like enough.
MissAmsr MissAmsr
18-21, F
Dec 5, 2012