I Want To Believe It Will Happen For Me

hi all. i wish i could believe in marriage again. i have been disappointed too many times by people i used to date. i have been promised marriage and turned down almost at the last minute. this has made me loose interest in marriage or even the hope that some day i will have a husband. lately i am dating this man, we have been together for 2 years. when we started going out i had faith in him that he would want to marry me,he also gave me that faith. but lately that has gone with the wind.his reactions to the idea of marriage are confusing, at times he says he is all for marriage, and the next thing he dismisses it and say marriage is just a piece of paper and a metal on your finger. honestly, does someone who views marriage like that ever consider getting married? all this talk has made me give up on marriage, and that it will never happen for me,because i have told myself that he is my last chance at a relationship, if doesn't work out with him, then i give up in relationships all together. i don't fantasize about my wedding day anymore, even if i tried, i dont know where to begin. it is just numb in my mind and heart when it comes to marriage. i feel by doing that i will not be hurt when it doesn't happen for me....i need to revive my wish to get married, and i dont know where to begin.i have just been hurt too much to believe in it again and to also hope for it to happen.
faith171983 faith171983
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

You seem to have bought into the fairy tale image of marriage. It is extreamly hard to do correctly. It is an open ended promise that most people I think have convinced themselves that they could do. But over time they find that they are not equipped to make the necessary sacrifices nor do they see the value of being locked into one person for life. Over time and the dynamics of modern life many people find that marriage is too demanding a state to be in. After that happens the anger, resentment, acting out and the costly / messy divorce. It takes great self awareness and self control/self discipline. Work on developing yourself from the inside out, the payoff is much better.