Empty Tears

i used to be a crybaby. i cried over everything and i cried loudly. my father yelled and screamed at me whenever i used to cry, he made it seem like it was wrong. i actually would get in trouble for crying. with parents who criticize and yell, you learn to stop showing your emotions. my parents goal in life is to get to me, to upset me. it makes them feel powerful. now, i cannot cry. i try to, i feel myself choke up, yet nothing happens. i try to force myself to cry, i want to cry. so many years of being forced to hide and stop emotions have caused me to dry up. i have no tears
cheerbabe123 cheerbabe123
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 30, 2007

Your parents in a weird kind of way tried to help you ... to make you tougher . It was a very wrong aproach and I am sorry you cannot cry anymore.I stopped crying a long time ago and I have moments I can't eat and hardly breathe because of emotions held inside... crying is natural and healthy as long as you do it when no one sees you or the idealic version in a loved one's arms.<br />
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Try writing everything you feel in a journal or here on Ep , it will help you clear your toughts and it can be a good substitue for crying...

i used to have the same problem,,exept my mom was on drugs,,,after i got away from her i had to reach deep inside myself,,,and think,,,,alot of times the fear of ower parents dissapointment will do mentel damege,,,,,put all thoughts of yor folks aside for a while,,,put on some soft musice and just think,,,in your head or out loud what ever works for you,,,the tiers will come,,,,(smiles)goodluck,,,,