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I Hate It

And it is frustrating, me trying to communicate, trying to express myself, but it doesn't come out the way I want it, I don't have to many friends and I don't talk too much, only the people I know for a long time are the ones I feel comfortable talking to, I'm not into arguments either not very good defending myself, when everybody has something to say I just stay shut, knowing I got it in my mind but don't know how to deliver it, I wonder if one day I will have the courage to do such a thing
OoLunaoO OoLunaoO 26-30, F 13 Responses Aug 8, 2010

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I have a terrible time expressing myself also ...It seems like I just can't get the words to come out the way I mean them. Then by the time I have refigured what I really wanted to say the moment has passed....there should be say it the way you mean it coaches =D

You just reminded me, when a person do me a favor and I forgot to say thank you, like I could be overwhelmed in gratitude by what they are doing for me and when I want to say it is too late. I know I'm not that good with words

Thank you for taking some of your time to comment. Something I'm good at is avoiding people I don't like, they're just not worth it

A LOT of guys really like a girl who's a bit more shy and I bet you value good manners too. It's in no way a bad thing :). As far as conflict, I know a few people that are similar to yourself, they let others say something snide or nasty and you think afterwards, damn I should have said something. Why? Why do you need to say something when someone is deliberately just trying to hurt or insult you? I find the best way to deal with someone who passes a rude comment is to just say, I find that quite rude, it usually serves the purpose of embarrassing them. Beyond that you can belittle someone's comment very easily by looking away and just giving a disinterested response, a little "uh-huh..." can often be enough to make a snide remark seem worthless. If they don't get a reaction and you stay strong in your resolve they'll have no reason to keep doing it. Instead of stepping down, rise above it and be the adult, because bottom line what they're doing is childish and pathetic. And if someone really isn't giving up, then take them aside. I've always found the idea of a public confrontation abhorrent, very daunting because you feel like you're taking on more than one person, and others will probably pitch in with their opinions. So take the person by the arm, lean in and just say I'd like a word with you please. Go somewhere quiet and just flat out ask them do you have a problem with me? If you want respect straight away you've taken a big step towards it, and you can just outline what you're feeling and why you feel that way. If the person still has a chip on their shoulder, in previous times I've just told them fine, we'll be civil for our friends, but dont talk to me. In my life I've also occasionally made notes on times when I was really dissatisfied with how someone treated me. I write down what was said, how I felt and what body language and tone the person had when they said it, along with the context of the situation. Then I went as far as to outline the possible reasons for someone's nippy attitude, do they have an ill relative, is their relationship a bit rocky, have they had a bereavement? If there's not a good reason I can come up with that's outwith their control or something that I've done, then I often pre-prepare a response for a nasty comment, I think of that person's insecurities and come up with something I can say to hit them back. I KNOW that's fairly overkill lol but I've found it's worked in the past, often some people just need to be given one back to stop giving you hassle. Hope some of that's of help, I hate to think of a nice girl feeling hurt or picked on

And that's how you earn some respect once you get to the point I hear a lot from friends I need to get character

Aww.....I know what you mean Luna. I'm the same way. I'm too afraid of conflict or in some cases I just can't find the right words to express myself because I'm too flustered. And then I go home and think........."I should have said this, I should have said that", etc. etc.

It is a good place to start but in RL I need to open my mouth and defend myself. Know how to say it and be a little bit more aggressive don't let nobody walk over me and treat me like a piece of crap

You express yourself just fine on EP. I think this is a great place to practice.

I have those same problems too.

I wrote this in a moment where I felt very inferior, right now I feel good I guess you can say this is one of those bad moments and thanks for the advice I appreciate it

Aww, you are wonderful! Just write what you're thinking, not everything has to be brilliant or particularly poignant. Just be yourself. There is a lot to be said for just being honest and sincere.<br />
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Write from your heart and people will respond accordingly. (or just be a goofball, that works , too.)

yes it is =) *hugs back*

You know I understand, myfriend, I learned that when I trust, often times Im let down, but then again, around the next corner in life you find someone you can trust...and when that happens is awesome:) *hugs*

I totally agree with you on that, I been doing that too, only get involved with good people or at least you know they are wise and have that maturity to understand most situations