The Way My Father Raised Me, ... keep my mouth shut, i never really ever became familiar with, and certainly not comfortable with, expressing myself verbally, and i regrettably don't often know how to open my mouth to defend myself - to stand up for my rights. I always fear the other person or persons will quickly possess the upper hand - gain the advantage of the situation - and immediately belittle me, which is what my father always did. So ever since early grade school i've learned how to proficiently express myself in writing. Getting beat up for over thirteen years by my father and berated and belittled much longer than that by him and my stepmother, my writing proficiency was a very hard-earned skill.
eleanorssong eleanorssong
56-60, F
3 Responses Feb 6, 2012

I understand that as well...<br />
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I never was able to express myself verbally due to what people would say. I only know how to do it in writing.

What a price many of us paid to learn some of the things people admire. We survived and hopefully are stronger for what we've been through. How damn sad it is that every day little children are being forced to go through these things.

Writing is profoundly empowering Ellie, I am glad that you found EP where writing is appreciated and celebrated, it's good for the soul!

i which i could express my self better which i could spell and write i could in high school but it will never happen all the docotrs ever told be years ago was i was lucky to still be alive<br />
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but what they did not really understand i would have rather been dead so i could have been with my wife the was killed the next day <br />
i remember walking dow the tunnel towards the light and being stopped and told it was not my time the i woke up being told to see Alice 10 feet tall and our grandmother screaming as other rushed in 2 with guns and i was given a shot and ut back to sleep