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My Experience

hey everyone i just wanted to tell my stroy to someone so here its goes:

My name is Jose Eduardo I was born in Mexico. I was born in a high class family in Mexico. My childhood was pretty nice i had friends, toys and stuff, but i always was a happy but short tempered kid i would get angry all the time and fight other kids. I never liked School. so i lived ina  small town in Mexico where i was really happy then when i was 7 I moved to the city and entered a Catholic school that was boys only. I was pretty serious and never talked to anyone. The others kid picked on me because of my short temper so i would always get into fights in school. Then i discovered that if i did funny things other people would like me (I've always had a good sense of humor) so i became kind of the class clown and did things that pissed of my teachers so i would get into trouble at home. Then idk why i started to be scared of everything specially dead nights where extremely terryfing for me. I felt  very unsatisfied i had everything toys money friends but i still felt unsatisfied. So in school they always told me giving my life to god will make me happy so i went like to a catholic summercamp where i hat to go to chuch everyday and did good things and stuff but i still felt pretty bad so there i started to doubt about god's existence and completely losss my faith in him. then i became a teenager and started to like girls but i was very shy with girls and started to think that i was ugly.  so then i changed to another school that was boys and girls and there i discovered girls actually liked me and i was very goodlooking but i wass still very shy with pretty girls. so then when i turned 16 i still felt unsatisfied so i started drinking and smoking heavily. I would always get drunk at parties and get into fights for stupid things. When i was drunk my shyness with girls disappeared and i started to get a lot of girls i sleeped with some of them but even like that i felt unsatisfied. So i thought maybe what i needed was love so got a girlfriend and i started to like her a lot and kind of started to feel better. I felt very happy. But then whe started to have problems and then we broke up and i felt terrible again. So I started smoking marihuana to get away i had a lot of problems in schools and at home(don't think my parents are bad they where actually very good with me). So right now i'm trying to slow things out and figure out wich is my next step in life and i'm trying to quit my vices even thought i failed today and got drunk so i got home and started writting this idk if someone will read it but it maked me feel better right now. Thanks you for your time.

crox crox 18-21 1 Response Aug 1, 2009

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Good luck, you i think you should join a 12 step program, it will give you a freedom and love you have never know, so that you are open to loving your self and someone else, and allow you to give that love back and share.