I feel like I've lost the ability to communicate effectively in some ways. I really want to learn to talk more frankly about my own life. I'm not too bad with talking about other people's lives but I tend to lock up when people ask about mine. And I feel like they rarely do ask which reinforces my feeling that people don't care. But it really comes from my own distance that people sense and stay away from. I have built up so many unnecessary defense mechanisms. I've certainly been told here and in real life that I am overly sensitive. I've got to build some thicker skin so I can be more willing to take chances and not care so much about the result. I've recently experienced another example of my inaction losing another opportunity. As soon as I believe that someone really cares seems to be invariably the time that the person shows that they really don't care that much. I feel quite sure that it's something that I do since this is a pattern in my life. I'm really not too sure what it is though. I think I show too much interest in some ways, and not enough interest in others. I try to be a nice person which isn't respected if you're a man but then when I try to play it cool and back off I find that they pull away too. I swear I feel like everyone else is in on a big secret that I just know nothing about.