So Much That I Miss

I miss the way he spoke and the way he laughed. The way he would tell me the same stories at least twice. I miss his smile and the random ways he would show me that he loved me. The way he made me feel like I was his everything and nobody else would ever love me like he did. I miss the way he would ask me to say the same words over and over, just because of my accent. I miss feeling like I might have been beautiful, wanted and special. I miss talking about our future together.
But the worst thing is I miss all the other stuff, the things you shouldn't miss.
I miss it all, every second of every minute of every single painful day. I want to forget him, so I'm not constantly reminded of all that I have lost. I want to forget him so I can remember who I was before he even existed. I don't even know myself anymore.
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Jan 18, 2012