Trying

your hurting yourself by not letting go i can see ..and its hard took me 3 years to get over my ex ...I guess we stay in love with a feeling ...

Ok i need to add that reading your anguish makes me feel ridiculous as a human being because here is a person who truly misses her love that she can not be with because of deat, it makes me think harder about what im trying to throw away and i appreciate feeling your world. I could never throw out his shirt, his things! I would be waking up in a cold sweat with regret. Your story is so tragic but you can move and and in your own time. No need to push yourself, it will happen. Pursue a hobby or interest not get explored but no more working too much! Maybe there is a widows group you can belong too that the kids play with their kids and there you will meet a kindred spirit, new friends and perhaps someone who has been through what you went through you can relate to.

Wow, reading this makes me not want to move on, to have him sleeping in the basement is better than having him gone, even if he does ignore me, even if he doesnt show the love and his eye is always looking elsewhere. It feels like a loss either way. Girl trip?

I was in a 5 years relationship with a girl that ended it suddenly on me. I was devastated. I thought my world had come to an end. I moped, I cried, i watched sappy love movies, ate junk food and drank too much booze.I honestly dont know what caused it but suddenly I had an entire mindset shift. I realized this is MY life now. And its the only one i've got and i'll be damned if ill waste it on being all mopey over past memories. Nobodies words of comfort or advise did any good. you gotta change your mind on your own, easier said than done I know. there will be songs, sights, feelings, **** even smells that bring memories rushing back. the only thing that will truly help is A: time and B: moving on for YOURSELF, not doing things with a subconcious voice saying maybe it will bring him back if i did this or that. move forward doing things FOR YOU. do what makes you and only you happy. Believe me ive been through this. tons of us have. your not alone in this feeling even though thats how it seems. Words in times like this do nothing. only the passage of time and staying strong in your own mind is what helps this along.

I'm sorry. I've always heard that time makes it easier. I believe that. I've watched my sister heal a lot. over this past year, but she still has some bad days where we sit and talk about him and I've noticed that, we always end it with a funny story about either the way he acted about something, or something that we had all done together or witnessed. Or something that is going on and just guessing at what he would have to say about it. And it seems to make her day go smoother.

I would like to give my advise which I hope might help. Believe me the first thing you got to do is get rid of his things, his clothes and everything else. Even his pictures you can hide them in a safe place for sometime, may be keep them with some family member... You ahve to let go because he is happy whereever he is and you have to be happy too. especially that you have a daughter for whom you need ot let go. Best of luck in letting go :)

I couldn't agree more that letting go is easier said than done. :/ Sorry about your situation. I'm trying to let go of someone too. I just can't do it though.