Humanity Sucks

There is no such thing as fidelity. There is no such thing as truth. Nothing is ever as it seems, and no one is ever how they present themselves. People are selfish, and self serving. The whoring business is so fruitful, because there are always husbands who are willing to invest during their lunch hours. People can say they love you, and hide everything about their real selves from you. People will call you a friend, but only call you when they need you. And you will sit on your couch, wondering what you did to deserve it. Why does any one deserve it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person with morals in the world, who would put other persons comforts and needs before my own. But everything is against me.

There's a food industry pack full of fillers and chemicals into the food that make us sick. Then there's the doctor that prescribes the meds that make us run a little longer, artificially better and slowly more dependent. I don't want to feel anything anymore. But I don't want to be a zombie in life either. I just want to be dead.

I took half a bottle of flexeral and drank my self to oblivion. I filled a tub with a nice smelling bubble bath and hoped to drown. I lied face first in the water and passed out, only to have my self serving bastard of a boyfriend "save me" and drag me out of the tub to "fake ******* me to make me snap out of it". Yeah right. He's a ******* sicko. He said the **** was lotion to REALLY sell the idea. Not long after I get pregnant with his demon child, only to lose it two days after, I think my body pushed the abomination out of me in self defense. However, I felt for my unborn child and got over the past in effort to except the future, the miscarriage happened while waiting in the hospital while waiting to be emitted for an hour or so. The receptionist just flushed it down and shrugged like it was a gold fish. I've never really been right since.

I'm sitting here tonight to get the urge to shove a kitchen knife into my heart, but I can't do it. I'm so tired of the fakness of humanity. The hi how are you, good to see you nonsensical bullshit that means nothing. Nothing means anything, people are worked like animals, rapped and thrown away like rotten vegetables everyday. People with a pleasant face in public with slimy underlife. I feel like everyone has it. No one is free of this. The only person I know is not is me, because I sit here in awe of the world before me, with a sickening feeling in my stomach. The self righteous ignorant Christians, the house wives that think their husbands are loyal, the flesh of bodies pillaged and souls torn to shreds, if a soul exists. I dont' want to exsist where this is the reality. Where cops rape the ******, in payment for not taking them to jail, then return to their families like it's a normal day. Or the sick old fat ***** that come home with their suit and tie after paying some road side ***** to suck him off. I hate this world. I really do.
LoveLies89 LoveLies89
22-25
May 21, 2012