I Wish I Could I Stay In A Make Believe World. My Real Life Is Far Too Painful

My life has always been a rather sad one but it seems as of late, I have been so stressed and beat down that I had a thought that I would search as hard as I could for a safe place to hide.  It is not easy, I have never felt safe but I did manage to remember a thought of a time that was peaceful to me and I put all my energy into going to that place in my mind and lucky me, it WORKED.
I hate coming back from that place and I sometimes wish my mind would break so I can stay in that safe place.
I look forward to resting so that I can make it to that place again but I have to try a way to get to that place as soon as I can but be awake so I can function in the everyday world without people noticing what it is I am doing.

Im emotionally abused & I cannot get out of the situation.  If I can, I am not strong enough and I have no job right now and no friends to stay with and even if I did, I would not burden them.  I would be too ashamed for them to know how bad it truly is where I am at in this point of life.

I want to be happy but I do not think I can get to it.

I just hope I can try to keep my fantasy/happy place alive in my mionds eye.
kellygoo72 kellygoo72
36-40, F
May 6, 2012