Without Hiding.

I'm tired of having to keep up an act for the sake of the people around me. Even though I'm sure people who know me well are suspicious about my sexuality, I make it a point not to tell anyone. Same goes for my religious choices, or lack thereof as it were. I wish people could just accept the fact that I'm no longer religious, that I flip from self-serving misanthropy to philanthropy without notice, that I'm gay, and that I just can't focus on college when I have such a drive to explore the world. But if I told my family any of this, they'd either die of shock, throw me out, or somehow manage to do both, just to make sure I felt guilty. I'm just so sick of having to do the same thing every day. I want to be out doing new things, meeting people, doing anything that's exciting. I can't really do anything exciting without money, though. I'll have no money unless I get a job or rely on my family. I can't seem to get a job at all, and I can't count on my family unless I continue to conform to their rules and limitations. But, I can't be happy living with the rules imposed upon me. It would seem that I'm simply screwed.

b1alasdair b1alasdair
18-21, M
Feb 9, 2010