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Cocoon

If only there was some way I could leave all these ties untied. Leave all these problems unresolved and my life as the burning wreckage I've let it become. I already went through my suicidal stage. I know that there are people who would be hurt if I killed myself, without a thought of them. I wish they knew how much I sacrifice to live everyday. Just to keep them happy. They really don't know how close they came to losing me forever. But that's just my little secret with the world, huh? Although that doesn't mean I don't want an escape. I'm too young, inexperienced and poor to run away. I'd be homeless, and starving out there. With no where to go. True, I'd get away from this town and these people, but is it really that far away from killing myself? I guess I still wish I could just die and screw thinking and rethinking means of escape. I wish I could make a cocoon. I'd sleep there forever, until all these problems are gone. Until everything decays and it's finally just..over.
Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2011

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I feel much alike. My life seems fine when I'm happy to see friends, but I have no motive to live life for myself.

I know how you feel I spend my day trying to find something to make it better and the more I try the more it seems like good men dont exist to the world anymore. At times I just wish i didnt exist as women say but then i realize someone out in the world needs a good man in her life and if I give up that leaves her to face the world all alone. Dont let this world get to you things will get better you just have to fight through the hard times

I know how you feel. I also want to just disappear as I have so many problems and my life has become a total mess. I wanted to leave my man but like you had nowhere to go so started to drink a bit and things spiralled out of control. Am still in this situation and am in utter despair and can't see any way out. I feel I am going to end up in hospital and am terrified of everything to do with the future.

Terrified... And no need to strive so hard for this mundane society. It's not real. This is not the life, I thought....