I just wanna start over. Every ******* night it's either a nightmare or a sleepless night like tonight. I just wanna sneak out of my home, go somewhere far from here, change my name and just become someone else. When it's not my mind reminding me of what I've done in the past when I was a douchebag, it's visions or voices of people from the past that force me back to earth, but I don't wanna be on earth. I'm sick to death of waking up each morning, fighting for air, to get dressed and go to an institution that cripples the essence individuality. I don't understand myself either because I know people care about me. I have a very lovely girlfriend, a couple of great friends and family. But I can't accept their claims of needing me. The scenarios of disappearing to somewhere else has gone through my head so many times that I know for sure there's at least a few ways they can fare better without me. I just want to start it all over.
TheCagedBirdsMelody TheCagedBirdsMelody
18-21, M
1 Response Dec 7, 2013

I know exactly how you feel. I envision this giant eraser that makes everything better. I imagine what it would be like to run away and never look back. But I could never live with myself leaving the people who love me.