Dear Me..take Your Own Friggin Advice

 I swear I give great advice. I think of solutions to all problems and solve puzzles in that category. THERE'S ONE PROBLEM THOUGH: I'm good at helping everyone else, BUT myself. Its like do you need relationship advice? I give great advice. Do you need help in finding a job? I can help you on that... the list goes on. 

Its frustrating a lot of times, that I fall within the real of stupidity and make the same mistakes over and over and over AND OVER AGAIN. What infuriates me even more is that I know what the problem is BUT I can't figure a way of fixing it. NOW, let someone else have the same problem, and my mind creates wonders to find the solution for the problem. 

ANYWAYS... the best advice by far I had ever received was actually written by someone I never met, knew, or heard of. I know I know weird right? Well I was going through online blogs and one day I stumbled across this one, and my life changed, QUITE LITERALLY!

""STOP the inanity!" Your first problem is that you are begging him back. Wrong! In SO many ways that is the worst approach possible. Men sometimes want what they can't have. Men are territorial. He may not think he wants you, but I can assure you he will not sleep well knowing that you don't give a rat's *ss. All of the crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and pity you hope for will never happen. It sickens men to know you are that obsessed with losing them. However, beating yourself up is not going to help you achieve future happiness. Are you listening? This is the best advice you are ever going to get. No therapist will give it to you like this. Either make the mistakes I've made in my naive days, or wake the hell up and give this schmuck a run for his money. If you do not follow the rules exactly, you will fail miserably and all of the crying and pity parties in the world will get you no where. I'm being blunt because there is no time for sugar coating. If you listen to me and listen up good, he will not know what hit him. If he never comes back, what do you have to lose? At least you will not feel like an obsessive fool that is allowing him to weaken the strength that you have if you choose to have it. You must adapt to these new rules: Don't call him. Don't write 5 page love novels to him. Don't act jealous. DON'T let him see you cry. Simply appear that you do NOT give a rat's *ss. Go out. I don't care if it is all you can take to drag your miserable butt out of that bed GET OUT and breathe. If he hears through the grape vine that you are out having fun and NOT pining over him, he will bust his balls to find out what you are up to. And that's just basic human nature of men being territorial. He knows that he has you under his thumb. In his mind you are too hung up on him to have a life, and he views it as a pathetic weakness. Oh heck no, Missy. We can't have that. STOP all of this 'I'll love you til' the day I die' (whatever) crap. It is dramatic and it disgusts him. You see, men lack empathy most of the time. Their emotions are based on what they feel is logic. Women base emotions on emotion. That may, or may not make sense to you. Take it, or leave it. I'm telling you that you absolutely must make him believe that you are completely over him. Happy go lucky. Do not yap to your friends. You never know which backstabbing wench will run at the mouth, or just tell the wrong guy pal of his what you don't want him to know. To your friends that are in ANY way associated with him: Always use that. They do your PR and damage control. No dramatic, pitiful, long drawn out goodbyes. Let him wonder what in the hell you are avoiding him for. Either allow your emotions to turn you into a rabbit boiling psycho, or sew him a new butt hole by becoming the radiant confident man eater that you absolutely have to appear to be. He can make you feel like a fool, or you can have a piece of mind. And I don't care what road lizard he drags up with. Don't you DARE for ANY reason whatsoever appear to be jealous, hateful, or spiteful. Any lot lizard he turns to is a non-entity in your life. Be as sweet a pie and as cool as orange sherbet if any encounters happen (by accident, do not deliberately run into him.) Avoid that man like the plaque and it will get to him soon enough. In a matter of the next few weeks: You now have a new man interested in you. He is a business man. Find one, or fabricate one. But by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that you know in his arena. It may sound crazy, but it does help you to gain a better piece of mind. You are not ready to date and that's fine. But he does not have to know that. Don't pass by his place. If you have to break your fingers, do NOT call or contact him in any way. I don't care what excuse you have to call him, avoid it at all costs. No emails. No boo-hoooo I love you crap. Hun, buck up. You are about to give that Viagra-reject the ride of his life. If you want that goofy loser ba" 

And yes, I followed that advice, and every time, I'm in a relationship where the guy decides to screw me over, I read this advice. Very helpful indeed.