What's This Title Can Do To My Mistake Huhhhhhh

hey may be you all will feel that m too young to love someone but you know loves got no age as love comes from heart and our heart never grows it only learns by experiences thats all. soo i was in my 12th standard going on a tution for maths she used to come there with her group. i never got to see her for about one week then. but one day during a test i saw her wih open hair she reminds me of a femi-einstien trying to blow the test in a minute.as days passed i got blue-eyed student of our teacher. so one day i was giving a test and i saw that she was looking at me continuously but as am a bit you can say umm ugly for a girl like her so i thought thats my illusion so i got no confidence to see her in the eyes and i back up. she used to do it mostly in our tests i thought thats nothing,so i let it go . but as she used to pass by my house after tution so i used to see her while listening a song which is my favourite. eventually slowly slowly i got a feeling for her but as i m lacked of confidence so i never got the courage to talk to her .. tution got over i started missing her.. so i made an i.d. on f.b. and started looking for her but as i dont knew her full name so it was difficult but one day i got her full name from a friend and i found her on f.b. and i send a request to her and she accepted as she knew me .so we started talking from there for 2 or 3 weeks continuously.one day she asked me about having a girlfriend or not so as i was unable to control my emotiobs at that time i told her that i loved or liked whatever to her and she said that she already had a boyfriend so i felt a bit sad as so i dont replied to her for 4 hours she kept messaging that why are you not replying but i got no courage to talk to her then.one of my friend who was sitting with me at that time took my phone and messaged her that block me and get out of my life. so the same she did. i didn't object to it because i thought its the best option at that time. as days passed by that i again started missing her but as she had blocked me i made a new fake i.d. of a girl and send her a request .she accepted it and asked me about my identity i befooled her as she is so innocent so so much kind she never thought of me as a fake i.d. not a single time.we keep talking for about 2 or 3 months this time this was the best time of my life . she used to share everything with me about her life about her dream. i used to listen to her and tried to make her happy everytime i got a chance coz she was living in a hostel at that time for her studies and she kind of felt lonely there. so as days passed we became best friends. one an occassion i asked her if she want any gift she said "just be a part of my life forever thats what i want only" these words felt a knife stabbed in my heart at that time.. but as i was afraid of losing her by telling the truth i lept this knife in my heart.. one day she told me that she is committed to someone and i got dumbstruck coz i got to know that she was lying to me about her boyfriend when i proposed her in the past. but as she kept telling me about that guy i got a feeling that if he is right for her then who am i to stop her from being happy so i kept her telling that she should continue with this relationship. but as now she seem happy without my help i thought of withdrawing myself from her life as so the easiest way i found to do this is to tell her about my fakeness. so i did it ans she got very sad as she had built a trust on me for this long time and i broke it in a second. she told me that i was playing with her feeling and making fun of her.i told her that i was only doing this to got an apology from her as i felt this is not the right time for me to tell her about my love for her. she stopped talking with me for a month.meanwhile as i was feeling awkward and lonely so on the same fake i.d. i started talking with an another girl but i told her that am a fake i.d. in the beginning. she promised me to never tell this secret to anyone. but one day she broke her promise that day i felt the pain if being betrayed by someone that moment i send a message to my love that "now i know what it feels like to be betrayed,so pls forgive me and give me a second chance" dunno what happened there but her messge comes in a 2 minutes that she had forgive me. i felt relieved. but from that day onwards she never talked to me. but meanwhile i started developing a strong feeling for her. so wrote it in a messgae about my feeling to her o her i.d... but as she was busy in getting her dream so she had deactivated her i.d. everyday i used to open that fake i.d and see if she had messaged me although i know that it will be a no but what to do this bloody heart is far strong than me. one day i saw her another i.d. and send her a request but she didn't approved of it may be she has seen my message and was afraid to face me or something else.so i just saw her i.d. everyday and felt that she is with me just a thing to make my heart relieved .. sometimes i felt that HOW LUCKY ARE SOME NONLIVING PERSONS AS THAT PERSON OF WHOM I MADE A FAKE I.D. COZ THAT I.D. WAS BECAUSE OF HER NAME AND FEMINITY WAS ABLE TO BE HER BEST FRIEND. but 1 months has passed to this incident till now and now everyday i am looking for a trick to hack her facebook i.d. to tell her that i love her most and much. as this sroty has not a end but as to my responsibility its my duty to give you a moral to this- NEVER BREAK SOMEONES TRUST ON YOU COZ ITS SOMETHING THATS NOT GONNA BUILD UP AGAIN NOWADAYS. IT WILL BREAK YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL EVERYTIME YOU WILL THINK ABOUT IT. AND BUT BUT BUT YOU KNOW SOMETIMES I THOUGHT THAT I LIED TO HER BECAUSE BEING WITH HER WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAT THE TRUTH BUT AS TIME IS PASSING I KNOW THIS IS ONLY MY MAKE-BELIEF TO MAKE MY HEART KEEP BEATING............. SEEYA GUYS
einstientonit einstientonit
18-21, M
May 24, 2012