I Wonder If He Still Cares.

I sometimes wonder, if I still have a place in the world. do you? well, here's my story.

i have a temper and i have the tendency to get frustrated and go off. my boyfriend is such a sweetheart and he's the best ever and yesterday, he told me about myself and i had to listen. we were having a conversation and i was clearing something up and i began to yell and make a big deal out of it and it wasn't anything for me to get loud about. i just like to talk over people to prove my point. he told me that "i don't talk, i just yell" and he says that im in the making of my mother. my mother nags about a lot of stuff but she means well. i never was always over reactive about things until my past came back into my life. in 2009, my life had took a turn. i began to try and get attention because i never got it. i was always ugly in a guys eyes, i was always quiet and laid back. i wanted the attention they were getting and i made some bad decisions and they weren't right. i never had a boyfriend until my boyfriend came into my life and captured my heart.he is my first boyfriend and all of sudden, the first month of my relationship he asks me about my past and i simply denied it. i didn't want him to look at me different or break up with me. that's the LAST thing i needed in my life. i love him so much and this is why i became so over reactive with things.he found out about my past, during the 10 month mark of our relationship. i know it took so long for me to come out with it. my plan was for him to NEVER EVER know. he texted me that day and said, "what are you hiding from me, this is based on our relationship. so if you lie, we're done and if there is something, tell me" i came out and told him, i was crying hysterically and whatever. after ALLLLLL of that, we are going strong, we've been together for 1 year and 3 months. but everytime something is wrong with him, i think its me because of my past, and i just begin to trip. this is how i became so skeptical, i'm so scared that he looks at me different but i feel like im a burden to him.... i just need to learn how to calm my nerves.
TheLifeOfMrsWashington TheLifeOfMrsWashington
13-15, F
Dec 2, 2012