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Hope You're Out There!

When will my day come
When will you find me
I'm waiting
Why can't you see me
:(

If your feeling the same way i do
then don't give up,
please don't give up searching
i want you to find me
so i can find you
i want us to be together
please
please, don't give up on love

I'm not sure if i'm talking to an imaginery person that will love me one day or to myself
i hope i'm not only talking to myself
i need there to be someone out there, someone like me.........

there's got to be someone like me
like me.... :(

my heart longs for love.....it doesn't have it anymore and it can't function, i just can't take it anymore......i remember how happy i was with love in my life and it make my current situation that much more unbearable.  i know it's a big world out there, i know there's got to be someone, not just someone that will "have" me but someone that trully feels the way i do about things....about love, about family, someone who wants to grow old with me, and i with her......i want it all. i want to wake up next to her. i fantasize bout waking up next to someone, having them in my arms, i cannot imagine more happiness than that. what else is there? i imagine a wedding, how beautiful everything would be :*) i imagine our first child our first family photo, our first christmas :) our first date(sorry i just ruined the chronological order, but my mind doesn't always think that way... :$ if it did, then i wouldn't be an 18 year old guy staying home from college parties dreamin about finding my soulmate!) 

i think about my past loves, i suppose they never really ever became "past" in the sense that i still love them. i still love them both(only two) very very much.  They still make random appearances in my dreams...well not random i suppose, i wish there was a sign of some sort that could point me in the right direction. i want to take the next exit to "love" :P i don't need/want to be on this friggin "singles" highway any longer. scratch that, i need to be.... i know i need to be. i just don't want to be. i want love but i can't settle for anything less than what i deserve. i can't be with someone that only wants to use me for a fling, someone that doesn't love me.

i DON'T want someone that only likes me "okay" when i like them "alot-alot."  I want someone who likes me "alot-alot" too! :*D i can't wait til i find you, whereever you are! :) i hope your at college. i want you to be at college. i want to find you and be with you as soon as i can! i wish we could spend all of college together :) if only i could meet you my freshman year.... (that would be AMAZING) ..... i'll keep looking! FIND ME!!!! :D

gosh i suppose for one reading this, you could see the gradual transition from depression to cheerfulness. eh--o well :P
deadlove deadlove 18-21, M Oct 14, 2010

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