Hope You're Out There!

When will my day come
When will you find me
I'm waiting
Why can't you see me

If your feeling the same way i do
then don't give up,
please don't give up searching
i want you to find me
so i can find you
i want us to be together
please, don't give up on love

I'm not sure if i'm talking to an imaginery person that will love me one day or to myself
i hope i'm not only talking to myself
i need there to be someone out there, someone like me.........

there's got to be someone like me
like me.... :(

my heart longs for love.....it doesn't have it anymore and it can't function, i just can't take it anymore......i remember how happy i was with love in my life and it make my current situation that much more unbearable.  i know it's a big world out there, i know there's got to be someone, not just someone that will "have" me but someone that trully feels the way i do about things....about love, about family, someone who wants to grow old with me, and i with her......i want it all. i want to wake up next to her. i fantasize bout waking up next to someone, having them in my arms, i cannot imagine more happiness than that. what else is there? i imagine a wedding, how beautiful everything would be :*) i imagine our first child our first family photo, our first christmas :) our first date(sorry i just ruined the chronological order, but my mind doesn't always think that way... :$ if it did, then i wouldn't be an 18 year old guy staying home from college parties dreamin about finding my soulmate!) 

i think about my past loves, i suppose they never really ever became "past" in the sense that i still love them. i still love them both(only two) very very much.  They still make random appearances in my dreams...well not random i suppose, i wish there was a sign of some sort that could point me in the right direction. i want to take the next exit to "love" :P i don't need/want to be on this friggin "singles" highway any longer. scratch that, i need to be.... i know i need to be. i just don't want to be. i want love but i can't settle for anything less than what i deserve. i can't be with someone that only wants to use me for a fling, someone that doesn't love me.

i DON'T want someone that only likes me "okay" when i like them "alot-alot."  I want someone who likes me "alot-alot" too! :*D i can't wait til i find you, whereever you are! :) i hope your at college. i want you to be at college. i want to find you and be with you as soon as i can! i wish we could spend all of college together :) if only i could meet you my freshman year.... (that would be AMAZING) ..... i'll keep looking! FIND ME!!!! :D

gosh i suppose for one reading this, you could see the gradual transition from depression to cheerfulness. eh--o well :P
deadlove deadlove
18-21, M
Oct 14, 2010