Not Sure

Well, how to begin... My father was the best man in the world and he always will be to me...
He was a electrician, helped everyone that needed for free... always so kind and respectful, everyone that knew him that I meet say that he was a good man, so he is my example... I loved him so much, like, I can't even define how much, he was everything to me. In the vacation of 2002 we went on a family camping and there was a river in that place... everyone was so happy... I remember there was a tall tree across the river which they would climb and jump on the water, I wanted to do that too... but the river was too deep for me to cross alone, so I asked my father to bring me to the other side of the river...
So I was like holding on his shoulders to go, when in the middle of the river he had a fulminant heartattack... He began to sink, and I was sinking too but when I began to drown I left his shoulders ... anyways I didn't know how to swim, so I was still there drowning... until a cousin helped... and my uncles took me out of the water... They thought my father was playing... but he really wasn't. So everyone started crying, and get desperate, and I was, "huh? what's going on?" I was 8 years old... I still remember he sinking, that's why I am here, I wasn't able to sleep today... I Began to think about all the memories I still have about him... So I searched on google, "I wish I had a father" that's how I got here. I am sort of alone, so some times I just don't know what to do, but maybe I'll be able to sleep now...

Sorry for any mistakes I am Brazilian, so my english is not so good.
FlavioW FlavioW 18-21, M 2 Responses May 24, 2011

Your Response


Thanks a lot, I'll be ok .. :)

Hi FlavioW, I am sorry for your loss, I can't even try to understand what you have gone through. But, it is good that your father was a good man, and people have only nice comments to make regarding him. I am also glad that you were able to find EP and get some of your emotions out in the open. EP is a great place to be able to process through your feelings.

I am sorry that you cannot sleep, is there a counselor you could go see? Maybe seeing a counselor would be helpful in giving you tools to cope with your loss?

Well, keep writing, we'll be reading! And take care of yourself, don't go too long without sleep or it can mess with your mental/emotional state.

Take care :)