I Want At Least Just One Close And True Friend.

After having so many friendship issues and analysing people's views on their friendship with me I have came to the conclusion that no-one truly cares for me (apart from my family). Now I know how my cousin feels when she tells me that she only has one close friend, whereas the rest probably don't even like her.
Somehow I feel this is karma on me because in the past I have attempted to manipulate my friends to all hate someone because she bullied me and caused me emotional pain.
Now, they all love her and I'm just a 'friend' or someone they talk to.
I feel lonely, like I don't have one true friend I can share my life with or just feel close to and click with. Most of my friends have someone they can feel loved and happy with and close to. Like a 'best friend'. I mean I do have some very nice and caring friends but they aren't close.
In the past the girl who I wanted everyone to hate was actually my best and closest friend before we had issues. We were so close, we shared everything, we went out together, we always apologized and loved each other. But I guess, it's what happens during adolescent. We were immature kids and over time through experience we grow up. No wonder many people say the friends you make in school won't even be your friends in the future.

I just need someone I can be close with, someone I know who will be there for me, listen and don't judge everything I say or do, someone who will motivate me and help me up when I fall down, or just someone who I can hug and put trust into. Just someone who I know will always be loyal to me as I would be to them.
I believe that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. In society, that rarely happens. It feels like as long as a girl has a 'pretty face', she's suddenly liked by everyone. Hence that's why I have low self-esteem. I hope that people who have matured aren't as shallow as the teenagers who just go for the outer appearance.

I really hope I do find that one friend someday, the one friend who will be like family, like a lover to me.
I'd like to see if anyone has a true friend or not, or is that just simply a rarity in today's society?
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3 Responses Sep 21, 2012

Your story is a lot like mine except that i have found that one true friend. she's the only one who's always been there for me through all the hard times and i can always talk to her and know that she will understand. true friends are hard to find but they are out there.

hey im glad were friends,are you in taiwan or hongkong?

I totally know what you are saying because I am too without any close friends. When I watch groups of old women going for coffee, I wonder if there will be even 1 friend I could have true friendship - you know just being yourself, respecting each other. I think the problem with today's society is that a lot of people are focused on themselves, it seems very superficial.