I Wish I Had More Close Friends
I have been in this country for about 10 years now. I know a lot of people but I so not have any friends and I have NO family left. This is all as a result of many different factors all contributing to the same sad, almost pathetic reality.... I do not have 1 close friend.
First of, I moved here and never really made any friends, the few I had flew away when I got married. My ex is a complete control freak and so my friendships went down the drain. After we divorced I spent most of my time raising my kids (2) and well, with very little time for friends. Then my mom passed away and I submerged myself into school, so now I have 3 areas of major time-consuming proportions: being a mom, being a full time employee and a part time student.
I'd lie if I didn't mention I did end up with a super-best-friend for about 6 years who after those 6 years decided to cut me off because she simply did not want to work out a misunderstanding. Can I please add that throughout our 6 year friendship I had forgiven many an aggravation of her part but I guess I was just not worth it.. (bitter much?!) I so swear I am over it, just letting you know what is going on so you really understand.
Ok well, it has been about a year since my only friend cut me off and since then all I do is hang out with the kids and then go to work and tend to other school matters. Don't get me wrong, i love my kids, i don't regret the time I spend with them but I do know that I need adult time too and I just don't understand what it takes to make friends. I am friendly and well maybe a little quirky. It bothers me sometimes, I guess tonight is one of those times. Well, what the hell right? I guess life is just not ready to let me have some friendships, maybe there is some stuff I need to go through on my own and later I will find some fantastic friends... I am ok with that... mostly.
