Once I Met A Man Boy...

One playful festive day full of happy memories, I was warned by common sense to stay away from a certain individual, but I was naive.
It was the night after we finished our first ever university exams, so naturally we all went party mad. I met a lot of nice people at this party at the student bar and followed some strange kids home. On arrival, I enjoyed the usual student drinking contests, danced the night away and avoided a particularly sleazy, but fairly attractive guy - I noticed he kept trying to dance with every 'good looking' girl and kept trying to virtually lick their necks off.

Sat in the corner, a few inches from me was a different guy. Even though the room was dark, I could feel his stare in my direction the whole time. We all moved the party to one of the student's rooms and I got to see him clearly in the light. He was not bad looking and quite a funny character. We all laughed and joked until day break. Just before I left to make my way to a friend's hostel nearby, I heard the small still inaudible voice say to me: "Stay away from that guy". I said goodbye to him, he replied as he puffed away at his cigarette. I didn't think much of the warning, I couldn't possibly see how in the world I would be drawn towards a smoker (I'm very health conscious), let alone need to 'stay away'.

A few weeks later, I met him at a social event and we exchanged hellos and goodbyes, (we'll call him man boy, or Mr M.B. for now). Then one night, I felt this utter desire to do something daring and risky. I had no idea why I felt this way. I went to a nearby shop and purchased some metres of string which I braided together and wore around my neck. I wasn't particularly dressed for a night out, but I decided to attend the university social night. Lo and behold, he was there and the dance floor was almost empty at this point. Anyway, we danced and I used my strange string concoction thing to do all kinds of strange things you should never do on a dancefloor. We sat down for a drink, talked, and then he tried to kiss me, but I refused. I had to. I could tell he had done this a hundred times before with random girls he meets and of course, that warning kept ringing in the back of my head. I must admit, I felt awful after rejecting him, he looked like I had killed him. So when he tried persistently again, I let him out of sympathy (Ps: Don't ever do this). Things got a bit heated up and he asked me to come to his place, I refused. I made a couple of excuses and took a taxi home at 2 a.m. in the morning.

Anyway, we stayed in touch. I developed feelings for him, we grew closer, even though we barely had anything in common and we started dating as a couple. Everything was going smoothly, or seemed to be, until one very special incident occured.

Prior to making my mind up and becoming involved in a relationship with Mr man boy, I did something I usually do before I set out on anything new. I am quite spiritual, so first things first, I sought counsel from God, the One who IS Love. I told the Highest about the way I felt and asked for the Almighty's blessings. However, I only got more warnings against being associated with my new friend. I was told that (1) I am very free to go along with my decision, but I would regret it if I did; (2) The one who I truly love from my past will come into my life again, but he will see me together with this other guy, which would obviosly have not-so-favourable consequences.

I took these warnings lightly and didn't take them seriously. I was not excited at the prospect of the one I truely love coming into my life again in this manner, but I firmly convinced myself that the Almighty will never let this happen to me. So I explained this to the Highest, and told of my firm decision to go ahead with this relationship.

Exactly one year after we started dating, for our anniversary, I suggested we revisit the place where we went on our first official date. He agreed and we drove down to the lovely little Cairo-themed cafe. As we walked in, I could sense a presence and I felt a strange sensation of breathlessness amongst other feelings I have never felt before. I felt truly uncomfortable. I could not understand why, as this place had such a comfortable atmosphere, which I used to really like. Mr man boy walked over to the corner with the same booth with little stools and cushions on the floor where we sat on the night of our first date, but for some reason I did not understand at the time, I instantly told him not to sit there and I realised someone had left their jacket there, so they must be sitting there. After much fuss, we eventually settled for the stools in the middle of the bar, but I still did not feel comfortable. As we sipped our drinks and talked, I noticed a familiar face from high school. It took a while, but I remembered him. He was really close friends with a certain boy. This helped explain why I felt weird, but not quite. It was dark in the basement of this cafe, making it a bit difficult to see faces clearly.

I and Mr man boy later moved to the booth opposite the one we wanted to sit in. It gave a better view of the room. As I listened to him gossip about a friend of his who only dates girls who look like him, I spotted a tall, slim, striking figure in distance. I was instinctively drawn to this person, even though his back was towards me. He stood close by the booth we tried to sit in earlier. I kept getting distracted by him, barely paying any attention to what Mr M.B. was saying. To my horror or shocking amazement, not sure which, it dawned on me. I noticed that it was him. The one who the Almighty One spoke of had come back into my life, on the day that marked me and Mr M.B's first anniversary together. I was in shock, I started laughing in amazement and wasn't quite in my right senses for the next half hour. Shortly afterwards, I and man boy left the cafe. I still hadn't quite processed what just happened.

During my moments of reflection, I thought deeply. I knew I had to leave man boy, he was no good for me, neither was I that much good for him. While I was busy staring at the one in the cafe that night, I felt a huge rush of feelings come back to me like never before and though the one who sat next to me was amazing company (and for some reason man boy looked the most attractive I have ever seen him on this particular night), I learnt in that moment that I felt no real feelings for him. All I felt when I turned my focus towards man boy was sheer emptiness, there was nothing there. I knew I had to leave him, however, I had become trapped in this relationship by fear and all sorts of other feelings. I really did not know how to escape and sometimes doubted my belief that it was time to leave or the right thing to do.

I was scared. I had no idea that the things spoken by Wisdom would surely manifest. Following my disobedience, my spiritual life was in ruins and being in this relationship did not help things either. My whole life became a chaotic shambles in many different areas where I previously had order, before I was in this relationship. I thought I could fight things and win in my battle to hold things together. Soon afterwards I grew tired of being 'stuck' inbetween and problems started to creep up in my relationship with man boy, but I had no idea how to get out. It seemed there was no way out.

So with egg on my face, I knew the One I needed to talk to, but I was to ashamed to go back to Wisdom. I felt filthy and unworthy. Gradually, Wisdom started to speak to me again. Wisdom seemed to know my pain and all that I was going through. I suddenly became more inclined to listen to Wisdom's Words and I became more interested in the personality of Wisdom. Wisdom re-introduced Himself to me as Jesus, the Christ. I was not so surprised by this information, but I was a bit sceptical at first. With time He gave me the power to move forward and showed me clearly that I needed to leave that relationship. I was afraid, but He gave me courage.

Two days after Christmas, He helped me break up with man boy. He told me what to say to him and how to lovingly leave him, without deliberately hurting his feelings. I instantly obeyed when He told me to and I have never regretted doing this, just like He promised me. Today, I have accomplished many things in areas where I previously struggled. It's been almost three years since this happened. I have been mainly happily single for almost the whole time, but I'm really looking forward to seeing what the future holds. I hope you are too... 



























 


























Have
NeverHaveAnEx NeverHaveAnEx
22-25
Jul 29, 2010