Trying To Push Beyond My Nagging Self - Doubt

I don't mingle too much. I have some deep fears about not knowing what to say, or talking about things no one else will be interested in, or of just looking big and dumb.  I know I'm not, but that isn't easy to convey when you first meet someone.  Silly thing is, I know all I have to do is keep abreast of a few local stories, just to have something to fall back on in case one of those uncomfortable silences descends upon the crowd.

The reason I'm writing this today is because tomorrow I'm going to an open house, where my Member of Parliament will be in attendance.  It's one of those rare times I've decided to attend a public event.  The gentleman canvassed my place this spring when he was running for office, but I was sleeping so I could get up and go to work that night, so we didn't get a chance to visit.  He was the individual I voted for during the election, and he did win.  His party, the New Democratic Party, or NDP, for the first time came in second place and formed the Official Opposition.  I've liked my MP's facebook page, and see him regularly when I watch the proceedings in the House of Commons on T.V.  Yeah, I'm one of the few who enjoys that.  After all these years I'm still a nerd.

Anyway, this will be my opportunity to meet him, since he's in Ottawa an awful lot, which is a long way from Canada's west coast.  And while I'm looking forward to it, a lot of those same old concerns are swimming in my head.  What will I say?  What will he think of me?  Can I sustain a conversation with him which he'll find interesting?  To me, politics is more of a curiosity than even a hobby.  It certainly isn't a passion, even though I try to keep up with what my MP and the NDP are doing.  At least on the surface I do, from what they say during Question Period and media scrums. 

As the hours wind down before it's time to go, I've found myself saying a couple times, "You know, UnderEli, you don't have to go.  No one is holding a gun to your head."  Like I'm looking for an excuse not to go.  And it's true, of course, I don't have to go.  Heaven knows there'll be people there a lot more politically knowledgeable and wonkier (is that a word?) than me.  Still, it's my chance.  I can at least reach out to my MP, shake his hand, and let him know I appreciate his representing my riding in Ottawa and how I think he does a good job.  Who knows what may come of it?

You know what?  Instead of sitting here, wondering about all the maybes and what ifs, I should just put away all that useless clutter -- which has never done me any gooe, ever -- and just go and enjoy my time.  I have no idea what'll happen, except I'll get to meet my MP.  I'm thinking of taking my camera, so I can at least get our picture taken together, if he wouldn't mind.  I may end up surprised by what happens.  

Hey, I just remembered that I have pictures to pick up at the mall just up the street from the open house.  So now I even less reason not to go.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
Dec 1, 2012