Past Negative Experiences Make It Hard To Trust The Present And Future

Think about this. We've probably all had (unless we're extremely lucky) a number of relationships in our time, and if we're keeping our eyes peeled for a prospective partner that generally means we're not currently in a relationship. We're not in one because our last one didn't work out, not to mention all those that preceded it.

When we've had numerous relationships and have failed to find the right one, that can make us doubt we'll ever achieve such a feat. Consequently we avoid getting into them in the first place, or we sabotage them before our partner does it first, just to avoid getting hurt again.

I find myself almost unable to break out of my bad memories. To be hurt time and time again may be common but it isn't easy. If one had the ability to erase bad memories and retain good ones, as well as the lessons learnt along the way, that would help tremendously. It would mean having the courage to get out there and keep searching instead of just giving up to avoid the pain.

Whoever figures out a way to do this will give hope to millions who, for one reason or another, just can't seem to find love.
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2 Responses Sep 27, 2010

Don't worry about finding the right man for you. Becasue GOD has already a special man picked out for you. There are things stil yet for Him to teach you before He brings him in your path.<br />
May GOD Bless You.<br />

If you have had a lot of relationships that have gone wrong, perhaps you need to be your own detective and investigate what went wrong with these. Are there any repeated patterns: were you clingy, did you insist on commitment too early in the relationship, do you attract the wrong sort of partners? Do this is a really cold way, as if you were not you looking at this, but a private detective you had hired for the task.<br />
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How were you hurt in these relationships? Is the way you were hurt, the way you felt afterwards similar in many cases? Why do you think you react in that way? Can you trace it back to an earlier trauma in your life?<br />
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Are you choosing partners that remind you of someone? Someone in your family perhaps? So you have a good relationship with that person? If not, why not? Could you make that primary relationship better?<br />
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Think about ANY good relationships you have. These don't have to be romantic. Why do they work? What do you get out of these? What does the other person get out of these? Perhaps some of these things could help you make better romantic relationships.<br />
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Now (and this is a really hard one) what are you getting out of these bad and failed relationships? You may think nothing, but if you can discover this, then it may be the most important thing in making sure that you go into better relationships in the future. <br />
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Work through these questions. Be your own detective. Discover the way to make better relationships in the future. All the best to you. I hope that the next person you meet will be the partner you deserve, someone who will make you happy.