I Had A Spiritual Epiphany And A Long Journey

It happened in 2001, I will never forget it, it changed my life and then left me high and dry for several years. I feel confused and lost sometimes when I think about it and I am forever waiting for any signs to continue on this path. (here it is)

In the spring of 2001, I owned a small cafe in Auckland, NZ, I worked as a baker and chef with my partner and his sister. One afternoon, I went into the courtyard to put out the trash and I lit up a cigarette, (yes, a cigarette, not drugs), and looked into the cloudy sky and though, it's probably going to rain soon. Just then, the clouds parted and the sky was cleared completely. I looked up and in the sky were scientific equations and molecules, I couldn't understand any of it. I am an artist not a scientist, I knew nothing about this stuff that I was seeing, I never even took anatomy in school. Just then I heard a voice, a man's voice, "Everything you need is right here on earth". The sky when back to clouds, and I saw in my mind, people suffering from disease, then I focussed in on a weed in the courtyard, that I later found out  was a type of mistletoe. Well, needless to say, I was on a mission from God, or so I thought. I sold out of the cafe and went back to Uni that fall. I had to take an entrance exam because I had done only a BA and no science and had been out of school for many years. I took the exam with a room full of others, when we finished a woman came out and said that the dean of science wanted to see me. I was horrified, I am terrible at math and thought I had failed it all miserably. Instead she said, "everything that everyone else gets right, you got wrong, and the questions we threw in that no one EVER gets, you got right, I was baffled to say the least, I just did rocket science. Returning to school was the hardest experience, I was like a child learning everything for the first time, I failed over and over and had to retake classes. It wasn't that I didn't get the material, it's just when it came time for the exam, I always studied the wrong systems or research. I prayed and prayed that God would help me with this mission but I received no more signs and so I just concentrated on my study. I began to recognize the molecules in my vision as organic and some of the equations too, but I still couldn't put the whole thing together. Years went by and I focussed on some private study with the plant, it seemed to have medicinal qualities that researchers have overlooked and there was minimal interest in the plant, so I was starting from square one. One morning I woke ubruptly, yelling, zinc and copper, a later found that these minerals may be integral to the release of many medications. That was more than five years ago and I haven't had any more signs since. I always thought of myself being on a spiritual journey as my academics speak for themselves (badly). Of course I asked God why me, I have no knowledge or background in this stuff and most people who know me well, think I'm a class A idiot when it comes to math and science. I think he chose me for a different reason, I'm just left wondering when am I going to get on with this journey? from the research that I have done, I have come to believe that this may be the cure for cancer and aids. It aides your own limited immune system to fight the genetically altered cells, leaving the properly productive cells alone. I have no access to lab equiptment and no way of experimenting practically anymore. I can't even get anyone to listen to my research, so I gave it a break for awhile, hoping God would let me know when it's time to return to it. I feel like I let him down, and you DO NOT want to let God down. I don't know what more to do, my heart is bleeding all the time when I think of all those people in pain, and I can't help.

signed, the chain-smoking, cancer researcher

brokenandlost brokenandlost
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Thankyou so much for your uplifting comments, (and yes fascade this was real) as crazy as that seems. I never regretted dropping everything and returning to school, it opened my eyes and gave me a passion to study the human body and what a miracle it is. I will always be looking for signs and guidance from God. I have often prayed for patience, as this can sometimes be my worst enemy. A few years ago, my Vet mentioned that she knew another Vet who began research on my plant with dogs who have cancer and was getting positive results in some of his patients (even in stages 3 and 4). I am returning to school once again, I will be studing to be a Vet nurse, and hoping to work with this man soon. I do not care who figures this one out or who gets the credit for it, I just want to help people. I worry about (red tape) when you finally find the cure and large drug corporations swoop down and silence you because if this therapy is real, then alot of people will be out of work and big money will be lost, this stops me from sharing my work in an on-line symposium. <br />
It is in God's hands, I trust that if he needs a meek, passionate semi-resourceful loopy woman to do this, I am this woman. I will never give up. My family have always been able to see spirits and angels, I have seen more than a few in my life, but this was different, there was no one there, just the voice and vision as clear as day, I wasn't scared, I felt at peace and filled with love and compassion. It feels so good to talk about this as it's not something you share with just anyone, thankyou for your support on my spiritual journey, most non-believers just don't get it.

sometimes god does not want us to know his plan for us, we just somehow end up doing it.

Visions are not to be trusted and you should reflect on your experience with caution and advice from someone learned and spiritual in these matters. It can seem to have an obvious meaning when it is nothing more than a distraction from what God really wants you to do. Pray for openness to God's will for you and try to forget about the vision. If the path you are on is God's will for you, it will become obvious to you and you will be at peace with it irrespective of the vision.

If you are making this up, then this is quite possibly the cruelest thing anyone could possibly do in verbal form.

keep the faith, God will open the door that He sees fit...in His time....God bless!